2021.06.17 Self-Doubt

Self-Doubt and Self-Sabotage are BFFs

Do you have days when life feels like work? 

Days when you wonder if you’ll ever achieve your goals?  Days when you think you shouldn’t want so much? Days when you nearly talk yourself out of wanting more? If so, you’re not alone.

Do you sometimes wonder if your self-doubt is sabotaging your dreams? Do you have a tendency to avoid looking at (or thinking about) ideas or beliefs which are uncomfortable?  Do you secretly hope your insecurities will magically disappear if you ignore them long en…

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2021.06.10 Come Out of Hiding

The Downside of Hiding Your Feelings

I used to be a master at hiding my feelings. How about you?

Of course I’m referring those feelings that society tells us are negative or bad: anger, resentment, jealousy, pride, shame, guilt, selfishness, and sadness.

I also hid any feelings that revealed my sensitive nature because I was taught that those feelings showed weakness and vulnerability.

The problem with hiding those feelings was that ALL of my feelings got diminished as well, even joy, exhilaration, excitement, appreciation, grat…

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2021.06.03 Life Without Guilt and Shame

Life Without Guilt or Shame

I love getting emails in response to my blogs (yes, yes…it seems like I’m still looking for that external validation!). One person recently emailed me and beautifully clarified what I mean when I talk about self-care: self-care is all about self-love, self-respect, self-value, self-worth, self-compassion, and honoring who you really are!

+1 Yes! +1

And that’s my entire message and my work in the world. It’s my honor, privilege (and secret sauce) to help you reconnect and remember the amazing, awes…

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2021.05.27 Having Your Cake

3 Ideas for Putting Yourself First

You know how it is.

When you have something on your mind or are really focused, then things that align with what you’re thinking show up. All.The.Time. (Gee, could there be something about the Law of Attraction in this experience?)

This month I’ve been focusing on self-care and putting yourself first. So, I’ve been writing blogs, creating a new 5-day mini eCourse (email), putting together a new Self-Care Daily Planner freebie, and I plan on having a short masterclass next month. That’s been th…

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2021.05.20 Self-Care Not Selfish

Self-Care is Not Selfish

It seems to me that ‘self-care’ is an emotionally charged concept or buzzword.

It’s only two simple 4-letter words: self and care. Yet those two words conjure up images and emotions just by reading them (or thinking about them.) And there’s even something called ‘radical self-care.’

I’ll admit that when I first heard the term ‘self-care’ I was turned off by it. Who had time for that? Not me! I was visualizing only self-indulgent activities like bubble baths, spa days, and massages. bath

And then…

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2021.05.13 Putting Your Needs First

Reasons to Put Yourself First

The idea of putting myself first was about as appealing as getting a root canal.

My internal mind chatter told me it was selfish. I was worried about how other people would react if I changed my ways and started saying no or enforced some personal boundaries. I wondered if people wouldn’t like me anymore. Or if they’d get angry (and of course, I avoided conflict at all costs!).

So with all of this fear, worry, and negative self-talk going on, it took me quite a while to even take that first s…

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2021.05.06 Say Yuck to Staying Stuck

Why We Put Ourselves Last

I don’t want my life to be on hold, do you?

My life used to be on hold. I happily (or so I thought) put my own dreams and desires on hold and adopted the dreams, desires, and goals of my husband. And society. I didn’t question what success and happiness was for me. I just assumed it was about money, career, possessions, and snazzy vacations. After all, who didn’t want to live that ‘American Dream?’

And when living the American Dream left me empty, unfulfilled, and discontent, I assumed I neede…

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2021.04.29 Success Made Easy

Success Made Easy

Okay, that headline got your attention, right? We all seem to want that “magic bullet” or the 3 Simple Steps to Success or the 4 Laws of Prosperity. Maybe we’d even accept a 7-step process. What if it was 149 steps? Would we still be interested? What if I told you it was hard? How would you feel? Or maybe you already think it’s hard to be a success or to be happy or to actually live the life you dream about. After all, we all have bills to pay, right?

When I look back at all of the classes, sem…

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2021.04.22 Penthouse

From the Basement to the Penthouse

I live in Spokane where it’s very cold in the winter. The house stays closed up during the winter, and when Spring arrives, the windows fly open and the house gets a breath of fresh air!

We all need fresh air and fresh ideas. Spring seems like it’s in full bloom. I love when nature wakes up from its winter slumber. It always reminds me to wake up from my slumber, too. I get to ask myself, ‘What have I been asleep to?” “What have I closed my eyes to?” “What wants to blossom within me?”

Yes, Spr…

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2021.04.15 Tomorrow

The Truth about Procrastination

Procrastination Kills Productivity

No surprise there!

I’ve done my own survey and asked people why they don’t do what they say they want to do. I was surprised that the #1 answer was…………

alarm_clock I DON’T HAVE TIME! alarm_clock 

Okay, maybe I wasn’t all that surprised because that’s my #1 answer, too! This has been my excuse and I was able to point to my schedule to prove to myself (and everyone else) why it was true. I just didn’t think it would be such a common excuse. The funny thing is (and it’s not really …

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2021.04.08 Ask for What you Want

It's Time to Ask for what you Want

Do you ask for what you want? Or do you ask for what you think you can have?

These questions have come up quite a bit in my life lately. They’ve come up during my Free Sessions, during a workshop I recently attended, from a mentor who posted on Facebook, and even on a call I had a couple of weeks ago with my study partner.

So many of us are afraid to dream big, to ask for what we want, to state our desire, to cut our moorings loose and allow ourselves to shine. Where have our dreams and desir…

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2021.04.01 Dream Big

The Power of Big Dreams

“Life is short, live bold! Be heard, be you, dream big, take risks, don’t wait.” ~ Misty Gibbs

I’ve been thinking a lot about big dreams lately.

Growing up, I was never encouraged to dream big. My parents didn’t dream big – I think they were just trying to do the best they could. For them, success was owning a home, having a steady job, and taking occasional family vacations.

I think my dad’s big dreams involved me; he wanted me to be a doctor or a lawyer. That was his dream. I just wanted t…

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I Found Buried Treasure

Janet, you are so sensitive!

I used to hear that from my mom and when she said it, I just knew it was a bad thing. And so, like a good girl, I became less and less sensitive. Of course, I didn’t bother to ask what she meant by being sensitive. I thought she meant my feelings got hurt easily. I don’t remember if my feelings did get hurt easily or not. Maybe.

I do remember that I put my whole heart into my friendships and I wasn’t able to distinguish a real friend from someone who wanted informa…

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The Road to Settling is Not a One-Way Street

Settling. When does it start? And why are we so eager to settle?

I remember when my daughter was in college pursuing a dream. For two summers, she was able to take advantage of an internship with the company I work for. I began to wonder, "What if she could get a permanent job here? The pay is good and the benefits are great." How quickly I was more than eager for her to begin that life of 'settling.'

When I was young, I wanted to be a psychology major and I was hungry to learn all that I coul…

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2021.03.11 Feelings

From Numbness to Awesomeness

When I am numb, it’s nearly impossible to be motivated or to succeed.

The trouble is that I was numb for most of my life. I was numb to my real feelings of anger, frustration, resentment, self-doubt, fear, shame, and guilt. I was told over and over again that those feelings were wrong and I needed to overcome them. But no one taught me how to overcome them. So I did what I knew how to do: I shoved them down, I buried them, and I pretended they didn’t exist. And I ate. cookie cake bread

And yet, the few times…

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2021.03.04 Opportunity Knocks

Opportunity Continues to Knock

Is opportunity knocking but you don’t answer the door because you are waiting for the doorbell?

Are you waiting for that perfect opportunity which will allow you to say a resounding “Yes” to your dream?  Are you looking for a sign that you are on the right path?  Do you want to make some changes but don’t know where to start?

What if I were to tell you the perfect opportunity, the sign, or the resources are knocking already?

Let me give you two examples that illustrate this point perfectly.

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Get Your Gratitude Juices Flowing

Recently someone wrote me saying this: “I hope I can recapture my ability to pursue my dreams but for now it feels more like survival.” Does this feel like you (especially now due to social distancing)?

When I read these lines, I was heart-broken. These words came from someone I have long admired for her entrepreneurial spirit and winning attitude. It came from a woman who was actively following her dreams and passion. In a way, she had been an unwitting role model for me.

Steve Jobs said, “Yo…

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2021.02.18 Strengths

Denying Your Strengths is NOT a Strength!

For some of us, our strengths and talents seem hidden for our own view. Is that surprising to hear?

Why are so many of us blind to what is so innately natural for us? Well, that’s part of the issue – it comes so naturally that we don’t value it. Or we think that anyone can do it.

I’ve also found that our natural talents and strengths weren’t always embraced and supported when we were growing up. We may have been criticized and told to ‘fit in’ or ‘stop dreaming’ or ‘tow the line’ or ‘mind your…

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Inner Critic

Are You Bullying Yourself?

I’ve been trying a lot of new things these days.

One of the major ones is pivoting from predominantly one-on-one and in person guidance to having more of an online presence. And the new things involve trying out (and learning) a lot of new technology.

Now, I consider myself a quick learner, but this has taken quite a bit longer than I anticipated. And while I’m loving creating the content, making slides, and designing workbooks, I’m not loving writing out scripts or managing all of the moving…

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I Am

It's Time to Dream Again

It’s time to dream again!
 
I know you. You want to live a life of passion and purpose. You want to follow your dreams and live your bliss. And while this all sounds good, that little voice inside might be whispering (or screaming), “Yeah, but…..I have to eat and pay my bills.” Or “Yeah, but….I don’t even know what my passion and purpose is.” Or, “Yeah, but…I’m stuck in my job.”  
 
We all have our own personal “Yeah, but…” scenario and the more we listen to that fear-based voice, the longer we will…

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dreamcatcher

How Long are you Willing to be on Hold?



We thought putting our dreams on hold was the answer. 

Bills needed to be paid and families needed our support. We were told we had to act like a grown-up and be responsible. We were told it was better to give than to receive and some of us were told our dreams were foolish and we learned to bury our desires, dreams, and passion.

And we began to make some false assumptions about ourselves and our lives. We assumed dreams (or following our purpose) were folly and we felt unworthy. These false…

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