Why is purpose so important, anyway?

What's the big deal with purpose?

Having a sense of purpose is said to be associated with overall better physical and mental health.

Because of the importance of feeling worthwhile, many people do whatever they can to discover their life purpose or passions.
 
Personally, I took classes, seminars, read books, asked others, looked to astrology, scientific hand analysis, Human Design, and more. Even today, I continue to tweak my purpose – but that’s part of …

We thought putting our dreams on hold was the answer. 

Bills needed to be paid and families needed our support. We were told we had to act like a grown-up and be responsible. We were told it was better to give than to receive and some of us were told our dreams were foolish and we learned to bury our desires, dreams, and passion.

And we began to make some false assumptions about ourselves and our lives. We assumed dreams (or following our purpose) were folly and we felt unworthy. These false a…

I admit it. I have a love-hate relationship with labels.

One the one hand, I hate labels. They box me in and feel constricted, contrived, and they don’t seem to leave room for growth and transformation. Sometimes I even make decisions based on the labels I’ve given myself (or even the labels I’ve given to others). I’ve said ‘no’ to invitations and opportunities if the label I’ve given myself isn’t a match for the invitation or possible opportunity. Of course, the reverse is also true and I sa…

I woke up to snow on November 4.

I finally turned on my furnace a little bit before then. I can no longer hang onto hopes of warm weather and it’s time for me to embrace change once again. And not only embrace a change in the weather, but a personal change as well.

How do you react to change? We know change is inevitable. We even say, “the only constant is change.” And yet, when change comes, it can be hard. We’re not prepared. We don’t like it. We fight against it. We don’t feel like we’re …

It takes an enormous amount of energy to try to be someone you’re not.

Who are you? Your true self - your AUTHENTIC self - longs to come out and reveal herself (or himself) to the world. The downside of keeping your authentic self in hiding is that it ultimately results in pain: spiritual pain, emotional pain, relationship pain, or even physical pain.

Most of us spend our entire lives avoiding pain, criticism, and rejection. We think by pretending to be something (or someone) we’re not, we’l…

I'm a late bloomer!

I spent 50 years trying to figure out my life purpose. I read books (some of which I still have). I took classes. I took self-assessments. I listened to others.

It wasn’t until I stopped chasing after my life purpose and simply allowed myself to BE that I realized that my purpose was within me all along. You see, it was ME!

Purpose is about embodying, and accepting, the story that is YOU. Being who you are and exploring who you are (and who you are not) unveils your purp…

Self-care was a loaded word for me.

The Myth

When I heard the words ‘self-care’ I immediately thought of self-pampering. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love a massage (and I have one monthly) and I also look forward to my pedicure and can’t wait to sit in the massage chair at the nail salon.

To me, self-care was a luxury, a treat, or a reward. An occasional ‘something’ to look forward to. I reacted to self-care as if it were a four-letter word!

Luckily, I’m able to change my mind and when I tu…

Have you ever broken a promise or a commitment you made to yourself?

Maybe you wanted to finish a course you purchased, or learn a new skill, or even spend some time on self-care. And then life kicked in. Someone needed you and you dropped everything and responded to their need. 

Perhaps your internal mind chatter (mind monkeys) convinced you that what you were trying to do wasn’t important, it was too hard, or it would take too long, and then you gave up on your commitment.

How about this …

Do you want to hear an urban legend?

A number of years ago, Arnold Palmer, the great golfer, played some golf matches in Saudi Arabia. His play greatly impressed the King of Saudi Arabia, and before Palmer left the country the king told him he would like to present him with a special gift. "What can I offer you?" the king asked. Palmer expressed his gratitude for the offer but said that he had enjoyed his visit very much and a special gift was not necessary. But the king insisted and Palmer f…

Many of us have a secret belief that we never share with others. 

What is this secret belief?  The belief that we are not good enough or not deserving of love or that something’s wrong with us. We may ‘consciously’ know it isn’t true, but sometimes (dare I say often?) we’ll get triggered and then that hidden belief ends up running the show and then we act as if it were true.

What does an “I’m not good enough” behavior look like when you get triggered? Well…..

• You don’t speak up when you’…

Life is full of uncertainty.

Who could have anticipated that in March 2020 we’d be wearing masks every time we went out? Or that we simply couldn’t just walk into our favorite restaurant and have lunch with a group of our friends? Or that our normal way of greeting our friends (with hugs) would be frowned upon?
 
There will be times in your life when the rug gets pulled out from under your feet, whether it's sickness, losing your job, a major crisis, or even something called COVID-19. Have you …

The first words out of her mouth were, “I am so tired of playing little!” 

And this was coming from someone who had very recently quit her day job, moved to her dream town, and became a full-time investor! Those close to her were in awe of her commitment and courage as she made a bold move toward living her dream. 

But you see, once we get a little bit comfortable, we can hear the whisper of the next piece of our brilliance which tickles us and teases us toward an even bigger destination. 

Are you one of those people who wait for a Monday to start something new? 

Do you wait to set goals until the beginning of the month or the New Year? Are you even good at starting things? How about finishing what you start?

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to wait for a date on the calendar before I set something new in motion. We get excited when we start something new. We begin to think about new possibilities, new ways of living, expanded opportunities, waking up every day with a …

Change is in the air.  Can you sense it?  Spring has sprung!

And only 15 days to the start of Minor League Baseball here in Spokane!

Change is in the air with me as well. What I used to tolerate so easily, is now bringing me to a state of restlessness. My old excuses are not as comforting as they used to be. I often feel I am in limbo between what was and what is yet to be. 

Maybe it’s because I’m getting older, or maybe it’s that I’m getting wiser, but the questions I ask myself now cause …

Do you strive for perfection?

Do you wait to take action until you’re assured that all of your ‘ducks are in a row’ and everything is perfect? That used to be me.

In those days, my sense of self-worth came from what other people thought of me. So, I was very careful to always ‘appear’ to be perfect. I didn’t speak up unless I knew I had the correct answer. And I rarely asked questions, because I didn’t want anyone else to think I didn’t know things.

I even had a gold necklace that I wore th…

Negativity Bias. Have you heard that phrase?

I don’t know about you, but I like to think that I’ve evolved quite a bit from my cro-magnon ancestors. I understand that they had to pay attention to dangerous and negative threats. For them, it was literally a matter of life and death. They were on high alert for any negative stimuli.

And yet, 25,000 years later, as humans, we still tend to

• Remember traumatic experiences better than positive ones
• Recall insults better than praise
• Think abou…

Comparison is a dream killer.

Not only that, but comparison is a thief of joy and steals momentum.

So often, we think we need to be an expert before we get started. We think we need a lot of experience before we get started. We look around at others who are following their dream, making an impact, or living fully and when we compare ourselves with them, we may feel diminished, frustrated, and lacking confidence.

And it’s hard to find your joy, to get started, or to live your aligned life wh…