The First Step to Change
Change is in the air. Can you sense it? Spring has sprung!
And only 15 days to the start of Minor League Baseball here in Spokane!
Change is in the air with me as well. What I used to tolerate so easily, is now bringing me to a state of restlessness. My old excuses are not as comforting as they used to be. I often feel I am in limbo between what was and what is yet to be.
Maybe it’s because I’m getting older, or maybe it’s that I’m getting wiser, but the questions I ask myself now cause me to dive deep: “Am I doing what I want? If not, why not? Am I being of service or do I feel like I’m in servitude? What do I want my life (and my message) to stand for?” “Am I resisting stepping into a bigger, better, more brilliant me?”
For me, it’s once again time to get real and get honest.
No matter how I slice it, and no matter how many tools, tips, or techniques I create, the first step is always the same. Oh, I may call it by different names, but it is the same: awareness. Honest self-assessment is the first step in changing or healing.
I love this first step. In fact, I love it so much that the mini courses I’ve already created and the upcoming offerings I’m preparing all have to do with awareness and getting to know ourselves.
You see, in order to change anything, we have to first become aware something needs to be changed. Even step one in a 12-step program is admitting we have a problem. Something isn’t working. Let’s identify what that is.
The challenge can be in identifying those ideas and beliefs that limit us from living our brilliance. It’s easy to see where we are afraid. It’s easy to hear our excuses. But what about those ideas that are so much a part of us we forget to look at those?
For example, we hear things like “always do your best.” No need to change that idea, right? It seems wise and sensible. Who could argue with that? But what if we never give ourselves permission for a “best” that is just average?
If our “best” isn’t stellar we may feel guilty.
A client of mine was so indoctrinated by having to always strive to do her best (and her “best” also included NEVER making the same mistake twice) it got in the way of her satisfaction with her relationships and her career. If she could have just done better, then things would be different. And after a lifetime of this, her striving replaced her dreaming and she ended up feeling like a failure because she didn't live up to her own idea of what her “best” was.
What ideas are holding you back?
This is where we have to get real and get honest. I have a wonderful tool I shared a couple of week ago, but I’m sharing it again just in case you missed it before. Basically, it’s a "Self-Inventory Checklist" and it can really help you identify areas you need to focus on to step into greater self-love, self-worth, and self-talk. It’s time to get honest.
Step 1: Print the Self-Inventory Checklist. Rank yourself on a scale between 1 – 5 for each item. Remember, this is not the time for blame, guilt, or judgment. This is not the time to think, “I should be farther along” or “I should have more by now.” You’re honoring yourself by finally getting real and getting honest.
Step 2: Based on the results, list your strengths and your areas of concern. Celebrate where you scored high. These could be your talents and skills and you could leverage those to help minimize or overcome challenges or obstacles.
Step 3: From your list, create three goals or intentions for the next 30-days (if 3 is too many, just choose 1 goal or intention). Did you find any patterns of high scores? How about low scores? Did you notice you scored high in family matters but low in friendship? Did you score low in the areas relating to your awareness of your financial picture?
- Your goals could be based on your high scores or your low scores. Maximize what you are good at.
- In those areas that scored low, get some “extra credit” by diving deeper into what stories you’ve been telling yourself, what limiting ideas, what fear-based thinking is the cause of these low scores.
By the way, those three goals or intentions need to be written down. And read them daily. Keep them in your mind. I’d love to know what your goals and intentions are.
This is such important work. Why? Because you are important and valuable. And making excuses, playing small, not speaking up for yourself, people-pleasing, and settling is not only devaluing yourself, it’s also harming your self-esteem. You deserve better.
And just because it’s simple (and free) doesn’t mean it doesn’t have value. If you believe that, then that’s another limiting belief for you to release and replace.
I’d love to hear how it goes.
Say YES to yourself by getting real and getting honest
Click on the button below to access the "Mindset Mastery Made Simple, featuring the 'rate your mindset scorecard" (aka Self-Inventory Checklist)
Women hire Janet to design a life of meaning, fulfillment, and passion because most struggle with putting everyone else first, playing small, and feeling like a fraud. She helps them crush their excuses so they can move beyond the negative voices in their head and unleash their purpose, unmask their self-confidence, and uncover possibilities that they have been blind to.
Bottom line: You need to say “YES” to yourself to live the aligned life you were meant to live.