The Problem with Labels
I admit it. I have a love-hate relationship with labels.
One the one hand, I hate labels. They box me in and feel constricted, contrived, and they don’t seem to leave room for growth and transformation. Sometimes I even make decisions based on the labels I’ve given myself (or even the labels I’ve given to others). I’ve said ‘no’ to invitations and opportunities if the label I’ve given myself isn’t a match for the invitation or possible opportunity. Of course, the reverse is also true and I sa…
Easing into Change
I woke up to snow on November 4.
I finally turned on my furnace a little bit before then. I can no longer hang onto hopes of warm weather and it’s time for me to embrace change once again. And not only embrace a change in the weather, but a personal change as well.
How do you react to change? We know change is inevitable. We even say, “the only constant is change.” And yet, when change comes, it can be hard. We’re not prepared. We don’t like it. We fight against it. We don’t feel like we’re …
It's Time to Dream Again
I know you. You want to live a life of passion and purpose. You want to follow your dreams and live your bliss.
We all have our own personal “Yeah, but…” scenario and the more we listen to that fear-based voice, the longer we will settle for less. …
Hello, I'm Janet. Who are you?
It takes an enormous amount of energy to try to be someone you’re not.
Who are you? Your true self - your AUTHENTIC self - longs to come out and reveal herself (or himself) to the world. The downside of keeping your authentic self in hiding is that it ultimately results in pain: spiritual pain, emotional pain, relationship pain, or even physical pain.
Most of us spend our entire lives avoiding pain, criticism, and rejection. We think by pretending to be something (or someone) we’re not, we’l…
Let's Talk About Life Purpose
I'm a late bloomer!
I spent 50 years trying to figure out my life purpose. I read books (some of which I still have). I took classes. I took self-assessments. I listened to others.
It wasn’t until I stopped chasing after my life purpose and simply allowed myself to BE that I realized that my purpose was within me all along. You see, it was ME!
Purpose is about embodying, and accepting, the story that is YOU. Being who you are and exploring who you are (and who you are not) unveils your purp…
The Truth about Self-Care
Self-care was a loaded word for me.
When I heard the words ‘self-care’ I immediately thought of self-pampering. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love a massage (and I have one monthly) and I also look forward to my pedicure and can’t wait to sit in the massage chair at the nail salon.
To me, self-care was a luxury, a treat, or a reward. An occasional ‘something’ to look forward to. I reacted to self-care as if it were a four-letter word!
Luckily, I’m able to change my mind and when I t…
This is an Inside Job
Let’s face it, I’m busy. How about you?
I keep signing up for more and more classes (the ones I’m interested in, of course). I have a growing ‘to read’ list. I participate in two meditation groups and two coaching support groups. I facilitate the most-wonderful-and-awesome 'upliftment group', write blogs, create classes, work with clients, and work full-time. Whew!
So it can become really easy for me to buy into the lie that “I don’t have enough time.” And when that happens, I can come to ne…
Self-Trust and Self-Confidence go Hand-in-Hand
Have you ever broken a promise or a commitment you made to yourself?
Maybe you wanted to finish a course you purchased, or learn a new skill, or even spend some time on self-care. And then life kicked in. Someone needed you and you dropped everything and responded to their need.
Perhaps your internal mind chatter (mind monkeys) convinced you that what you were trying to do wasn’t important, it was too hard, or it would take too long, and then you gave up on your commitment.
How about this …
Do You Look for Signs and Coincidences?
Is the practice of ‘trusting the universe’ just another way that we choose to NOT make a decision? Is it a form of giving our power away?
You Need to Take a Risk
Do you want to hear an urban legend?
A number of years ago, Arnold Palmer, the great golfer, played some golf matches in Saudi Arabia. His play greatly impressed the King of Saudi Arabia, and before Palmer left the country the king told him he would like to present him with a special gift. "What can I offer you?" the king asked. Palmer expressed his gratitude for the offer but said that he had enjoyed his visit very much and a special gift was not necessary. But the king insisted and Palmer f…
What's Keeping You Stuck?
Many of us have a secret belief that we never share with others.
What is this secret belief? The belief that we are not good enough or not deserving of love or that something’s wrong with us. We may ‘consciously’ know it isn’t true, but sometimes (dare I say often?) we’ll get triggered and then that hidden belief ends up running the show and then we act as if it were true.
What does an “I’m not good enough” behavior look like when you get triggered? Well…..
- You don’t speak up when you’…
Living in the Moment
The times when I’m able to live in the moment, I experience a sense of peace, contentment, spaciousness, and freedom.
And even though I love these feelings, living in the moment seems to be a fleeting practice. I get distracted, worried, frustrated, discouraged, or st…
Can You Find the Silver Lining?
Life is full of uncertainty.
Who could have anticipated that in March 2020 we’d be wearing masks every time we went out? Or that we simply couldn’t just walk into our favorite restaurant and have lunch with a group of our friends? Or that our normal way of greeting our friends (with hugs) would be frowned upon?
There will be times in your life when the rug gets pulled out from under your feet, whether it's sickness, losing your job, a major crisis, or even something called COVID-19. Have you …
The First Step toward Self-Acceptance
The first words out of her mouth were, “I am so tired of playing little!”
And this was coming from someone who had very recently quit her day job, moved to her dream town, and became a full-time investor! Those close to her were in awe of her commitment and courage as she made a bold move toward living her dream.
But you see, once we get a little bit comfortable, we can hear the whisper of the next piece of our brilliance which tickles us and teases us toward an even bigger destination.…
What are you Choosing?
Are you one of those people who wait for a Monday to start something new?
Do you wait to set goals until the beginning of the month or the New Year? Are you even good at starting things? How about finishing what you start?
I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to wait for a date on the calendar before I set something new in motion. We get excited when we start something new. We begin to think about new possibilities, new ways of living, expanded opportunities, waking up every day with a …
The First Step to Change
Change is in the air. Can you sense it? Spring has sprung!
And only 15 days to the start of Minor League Baseball here in Spokane!
Change is in the air with me as well. What I used to tolerate so easily, is now bringing me to a state of restlessness. My old excuses are not as comforting as they used to be. I often feel I am in limbo between what was and what is yet to be.
Maybe it’s because I’m getting older, or maybe it’s that I’m getting wiser, but the questions I ask myself now cause …
Embracing Your Imperfections
Do you strive for perfection?
Do you wait to take action until you’re assured that all of your ‘ducks are in a row’ and everything is perfect? That used to be me.
In those days, my sense of self-worth came from what other people thought of me. So, I was very careful to always ‘appear’ to be perfect. I didn’t speak up unless I knew I had the correct answer. And I rarely asked questions, because I didn’t want anyone else to think I didn’t know things.
I even had a gold necklace that I wore th…
Practical Steps to Limit Negative Self-Talk
Negativity Bias. Have you heard that phrase?
I don’t know about you, but I like to think that I’ve evolved quite a bit from my cro-magnon ancestors. I understand that they had to pay attention to dangerous and negative threats. For them, it was literally a matter of life and death. They were on high alert for any negative stimuli.
And yet, 25,000 years later, as humans, we still tend to
- Remember traumatic experiences better than positive ones
- Recall insults better than praise
- Think abou…
Maybe it's Okay to Focus Backwards
Comparison is a dream killer.
Not only that, but comparison is a thief of joy and steals momentum.
So often, we think we need to be an expert before we get started. We think we need a lot of experience before we get started. We look around at others who are following their dream, making an impact, or living fully and when we compare ourselves with them, we may feel diminished, frustrated, and lacking confidence.
And it’s hard to find your joy, to get started, or to live your aligned life wh…
Why is it so Hard to be Positive?
Are we hard-wired for negativity?
Dr. Joe Dispenza writes in Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself, “Most of us live in the past and resist living in a new future. Why? The body is so habituated to memorizing the chemical records of our past experiences that it grows attached to these emotions. In a very real sense, we become addicted to those familiar feelings. So when we want to look to the future and dream of new vistas and bold landscapes in our not-too-distant reality, the body, whose cur…
What I Learned from Lice
When my daughter was in the first grade, there was an outbreak of lice.
Sure enough, she brought them home with her (and we didn’t need any more pets!).
When my husband and I researched options and local treatment centers, there were two schools of thought: one said we needed to follow extensive home cleaning instructions and the other said we didn't need to do any of that once our daughter had been treated.
One center told us we had to wash her sheets, hats, clothes, and coats; the other c…