Permission is Power
We get hung up on clarity.
Back in 2018, I posted a video called "Clarity is Power" and now I’m posting a blog called “Permission is Power.” So which is it? What’s more powerful, clarity or permission? And what does permission have to do with power? I’m glad you asked.
I speak to many women who think that once they have this magical, mystical thing called ‘clarity’ then they’ll know their purpose, they’ll be happy, they’ll be able to move forward, and they’ll have confidence. But I think that we (especially women) use this lack of clarity as our excuse to stay stuck, to treat our purpose and our passion as a hobby, or to put off being bold or outrageous.
Now, don’t get me wrong. Clarity is a powerful motivator and accelerator. With clarity we have a sense of direction and vision. Our affirmations, visualizations, and meditations can be specific and juicy. Clarity is our guide and compass. In fact, one of my ‘focus’ words for 2022 is clarity (the other 2 are wisdom and vision).
But what if we're afraid? Afraid to shine, afraid to stand out, afraid to lead, afraid to soar?
Sometimes clarity eludes us because we have blocks to our own brilliance and magnificence. Maybe what’s really blocking us is not lack of clarity but fear of our greatness. And this fear can get in the way of making decision or even taking action.
This is where permission comes in.
Let me ask you a question (or two or three). Are you feeling stuck? Do you feel frustrated or trapped? Are you embarrassed or even ashamed that you aren’t more successful or that you haven’t achieved more?
What you may need is permission for your desire.
“I gave myself permission to feel and experience all of my emotions. In order to do that, I had to stop being afraid to feel. In order to do that, I taught myself to believe that no matter what I felt or what happened when I felt it, I would be okay.” ~ Iyanla Vanzant
Think about it for a minute. If you're honest with yourself, you know what you want. You might be afraid you son't deserve it. Or you're worried about what other people will think about you. Or you don’t want to get your hopes up. Or you think you aren’t good enough. Or you don’t have enough practice moving into the feeling of your desire, let alone stating it out loud.
I wrote a blog last month called "The Energy of Desire" and it generated a lot of emails. Clearly I struck a nerve. One reader went so far as to suggest I need to write a book about this very topic (or at the very least teach a class or workshop). So many of us are struggling, settling, and not living fully because we are waiting for elusive clarity.
I was right there, moaning and complaining that I needed some clarity about the direction of my coaching business and wanting to know how I should best use my talents and gifts (hence one of my focus words for 2022 being clarity). In the past, I've paid lots of money for workshops, classes, psychics, soul intuitives, scientific hand analysis, and assessments. And they basically all said the same thing. But did I hear them? Uh, no.
Because the vision they saw for me was WAY.TOO.BIG.
I couldn’t take it in. But that didn’t stop me from pursuing this thing called clarity. And the magic happened when I stopped chasing after clarity and simply moved into giving myself permission to feel, to dream, to express, to experience, to have fun, and to allow. And then I realized I always knew what I desired. But I had never given myself permission to ‘go for it’ because I had always been afraid to speak about what I wanted (out loud) or what I felt was ‘mine to do.’
It still scares the crap out of me sometimes. And I continue to give myself permission to feel into the desire so that my vision is clear. And here’s another important point about clarity: even if you are crystal clear right now, your desires will likely change and evolve as you change and evolve. Funny how that happens.
Clarity isn’t stagnant. And neither is permission.
So, if you’ve been struggling to find some clarity, maybe you can give yourself permission to let that story go. And start by giving yourself permission to dream, to be in the flow, and to be okay with not knowing every single step.
And I’d love to hear what shifts for you when you let go of struggling with clarity and start embracing permission.
Say "YES" to yourself and give yourself permission!
Women hire Janet to design a life of meaning, fulfillment, and passion because most struggle with putting everyone else first, playing small, and feeling like a fraud. She helps them crush their excuses so they can move beyond the negative voices in their head and unleash their purpose, unmask their self-confidence, and uncover possibilities that they have been blind to.
Bottom line: You need to say “YES” to yourself to live the aligned life you were meant to live.