You Get to Decide
Who doesn’t love to stay in their comfort zone?
Even when we want to experience more success or more love or more health or more joy, we also want to remain comfortable – and we don’t want to make the wrong choice.
Has this ever happened to you? You may have wanted another job, but you stayed comfortable and then got fired. You were ready to move out of a current relationship, but you stayed comfortable and then the other person left. Ouch. Blindsided.
We need to be willing to risk being a bit uncomfortable as well as risk making a decision if we want to follow our dream, experience increased prosperity, and achieve the success we desire.
Sometimes it seems like we are so afraid of making a wrong decision, we decide to make no decision at all.
It’s as if we have two competing voices in our head, and they are both saying, “follow me.” One voice is saying “Follow me down the road of safety; follow me and be secure; follow me and don’t rock the boat; follow me by doing what you’ve always done. It is fun, it is comfortable…and you want comfort, right? You want to have control over your life, right? Then follow me and don’t take too many risks.
The other voice is saying, “Follow me to the consciousness that sets you free; follow me on the road to your life’s fulfillment; follow me and discover true prosperity; follow me and experience your passion, power, and possibilities. Follow me – it might be risky or scary, but it is so much fun!”
Which voice do we have a tendency to follow?
We need to choose one or the other. If we are so afraid of making the wrong decision and never choose, we become subject to the “law of averages.” I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be “average.”
Here are four reasons we seem afraid to make decisions:
- Fear of the unknown – We ask ourselves the “what if” questions. What if I make a mistake? What if it’s worse than what I have now? What if I fail? We don’t have a crystal ball to predict the future so we can’t tell for sure what the consequences of our actions will be. Sometimes we get into the habit of imagining the worst thing and this takes up a lot of mental energy that we could be using in more constructive ways
- Remember, everything was unknown the very first time we attempted it. Something as simple as taking our first step was a big risk. What about our first job, our first relationship, our first business venture – it was all unknown until we tried it for the first time.
- We doubt ourselves – When we’re thinking about making a big decision that might involve a life change, we begin to doubt whether we’re up for the challenge. Things may seem a lot bigger or harder than they really are. The task seems overwhelming when we look at it in the bigger picture. We ask ourselves, “Who do I think I am?”
- Remember, everyone has success and experience accomplishing the small things. A big challenge is simply a bunch of small things put together. Instead of looking at the overall project, take small steps that are easily accomplished where doubt doesn’t enter the picture.
- We think we need to be perfect – Sometimes we are so worried about what others will think or say about what we choose. If this is our approach, then we’re giving others power over us and our decision-making. What if it doesn’t work out as I planned? What if I’ll look foolish? What if I can’t do it perfectly? What will people think? What will people say?
- Remember, very few people get through life without making any mistakes. Sometimes your greatest ideas come from mistakes you’ve made. Are you willing to risk playing it safe and playing it small simply because someone else may not understand you? If you go through life afraid of failing or falling or looking foolish, you’ll miss most of the fun!
- We forget that we always have options - Sometimes when we’re trying to make a big decision, we think we only have one choice. For example, we can stay in a job we hate or we can quit and be unemployed. We have to stay in a relationship or be lonely. We have to work for someone else at a job or not have a steady income. We firmly plant ourselves in our comfort zone because we think we have no options.
- Remember, there is rarely a time when a decision is an either/or proposition. It’s common to forget the magic word “and.” By thinking in either/or terms, you close off your willingness to experience the possibility of something greater.
Next time you experience difficulty in making a decision, see if you aren’t stuck in one of these areas and then remember the bullets under each of these areas and let me know how it goes.
Say YES to yourself by having the courage to make a decision
Janet is a transformational coach who helps women move beyond the negative voices in their head so they can unleash their purpose, unmask their self-confidence, and uncover possibilities that they have been blind to. Bottom line: she helps them to stop settling, start soaring, and experience the magic of their dreams again.