The Downside of Hiding Your Feelings
I used to be a master at hiding my feelings. How about you?
Of course I’m referring those feelings that society tells us are negative or bad: anger, resentment, jealousy, pride, shame, guilt, selfishness, and sadness.
I also hid any feelings that revealed my sensitive nature because I was taught that those feelings showed weakness and vulnerability.
The problem with hiding those feelings was that ALL of my feelings got diminished as well, even joy, exhilaration, excitement, appreciation, gratitude, and love.
I was living life in neutral and I was also hiding my gifts.
Yeah, I was good at ‘faking’ happiness and joy, but I could feel that something was missing. The sheer bliss and abandonment that I wanted to express was always held in check. And for someone (me) who wanted to ‘belong’ or ‘fit in,’ I was setting myself apart from everyone because I couldn’t afford for anyone to notice that I was always in neutral.
“I'm here to help you take risks. If you don't believe that I can see you and know who you are then don't hire me. I'm not here to fight with you about who you are. I'm here to call you forth and out of the shadows.
If you aren't ready to be loved fiercely I am not the person for you to work with.
Remember there is no safe place to take a risk. Why do you want to contain any part of yourself? Why are we trying to contain our beauty, grief, rage, gifts or any part of us?” Denise Dee
When I read those words, all of the parts of me that I had been hiding and containing for years started crackling with excitement and hope that finally, someone would ‘get me’ and I could come out of hiding and show up in my full brilliance and glory – warts and all!
Actually, I have worked with Denise as a coach and mentor for close to 10 years and she continues to challenge me to become more authentic, more raw, more real, and more vulnerable. She shows me that what I thought were weaknesses that needed to be hidden are not only my sources of strength and beauty, but are actually my superpowers.
It feels scary to come out of the shadows and be seen.
But we need to do it anyway. We need to be our authentic selves to show up with our talents and gifts. We need to let our ideas and truth be known if we are going to make an impact. Following the crowd and hiding our soul can no longer be an option.
Which is why I love to consider myself a ‘tour guide for the soul’ (thanks to Rabbi Alicia who said this first!). And the reason I resonated so strongly with Denise in the quote above is that it called to my soul.
I am here to call you forth and out of the shadows. I am here to see you and love you fiercely. I am here to be a safe place for you to discover the Truth of who you are. And yes, that can be quite scary.
Things cracked open for me (in a good way) when I began to acknowledge my gifts of intuition and healing. It led me to be open to finding, and accepting, my purpose. I was able to listen more deeply when I wasn’t so worried about hiding my feelings. I was able to show up more authentically and make a bigger impact with those I work with once I was willing to be seen.
I do not want to contain any part of myself any longer. Do you?
CALL TO ACTION: In the next 24 – 48 hours
- Think of one or two areas where you’ve wanted to speak out but held your tongue for the sake of keeping the peace or simply being afraid you might be misunderstood. What were you really afraid of? How did this make you feel?
- Now imagine you are a super-hero with all of the strength, confidence, well-being, intelligence, and security you could want. How would you as that super-hero you respond to the same situation? Would you need to defend yourself? Would you have any resistance stepping into your power?
- For a moment, experience that feeling. Bask in that feeling. Relish and enjoy that feeling.
We are so much more than we think. Isn’t that amazing?
Say YES to yourself by letting your inner ‘super-hero’ come out and play
Hi, I’m Janet and I’m all about helping you to awaken to your value, wholeness, and connection to the divine. And I do this by teaching and guiding you back to the truth of who you are and who you came here to be. Left to our own devices, most of us don’t know how to begin or where to start. We can’t see beyond our blind spots. That’s where I come in.
With decades of coaching, teaching, and mentoring success, I bring my clients what they need to crush their excuses so they can amplify their impact, boost their self-confidence, connect with their calling, and live their aligned life.