It's Time to Ask for what you Want

2021.04.08 Ask for What you Want

Do you ask for what you want? Or do you ask for what you think you can have?

These questions have come up quite a bit in my life lately. They’ve come up during my Free Sessions, during a workshop I recently attended, from a mentor who posted on Facebook, and even on a call I had a couple of weeks ago with my study partner.

So many of us are afraid to dream big, to ask for what we want, to state our desire, to cut our moorings loose and allow ourselves to shine. Where have our dreams and desires gone? It's time to rekindle the flame of passion for living fully. There is no passion, satisfaction, or joy in living a life of safety or mediocrity.

Over 70% of the people on my Free Sessions have a difficult time stating where they would like to be in 12 months from now. Let me rephrase that - these 70%+ aren’t allowing themselves to put into words the life they desire. When they speak about their 12-month goals, their voice and energy lack passion and enthusiasm. When they talk about their goals and dreams, they are only a teeny weeny bit better than where they are now.

They want to be realistic. They don’t want to hope for too much so they won’t be disappointed.

Have you fallen into that trap? I certainly have.

“I have a deep fear if I ask for what I want and deserve I will be replaced by someone who doesn't ask for so much.” ~ Denise Dee                                                           

If you’re a woman, there’s a good chance you were taught at a very young age that other people’s needs and wants were more important than your own. And how many of us were taught that if we asked for what we wanted we were being selfish?

It’s no wonder we’ve forgotten how to dream. It’s no wonder we choke on the words of our desire. It’s no wonder we’ve talked ourselves into settling. It’s no wonder why so many people are living lives of quiet desperation. Let’s not be one of them – at least not any longer.

We all have genius within us!

I can’t tell you how many people have told me over the past dozen or so years that they see me making a HUGE impact with an inspiring message and speaking before an audience in the thousands (okay, I can tell you – 9 people have told me). And I have my excuses. And I have my story. And I’m afraid. And I had refused to dream that big dream.

I am so thankful that a few of those 9 people continue to remind me what they see in me. They continue to remind me about my genius. I feel safe to make my desires known to those few who see my genius and encourage me.

Putting everyone else’s needs first is not the answer.

That behavior will never restore you to wholeness. It could be that either / or thinking rearing its ugly head again: either I’m being of service and putting your needs first OR I’m being selfish. How about this instead: I’m happy to be of service AND I’m taking care of my needs first. Just a thought….

Megaphone2CALL TO ACTION: In the next 24 – 48 hours (Reflect or journal)

  • What is the story you’ve told yourself as to why you don’t ask for what you want?
  • What might happen if you did ask for what you want and stated your innermost desire?
  • Take 10- 15 minutes to really rekindle that desire – you know the one you may have forgotten about, the one you might be afraid to speak. What if that's what you are supposed to be doing, having, or being?

Say 'YES' to yourself by rekindling your desire.

Rock On


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