From Numbness to Awesomeness
When I am numb, it’s nearly impossible to be motivated or to succeed.
The trouble is that I was numb for most of my life. I was numb to my real feelings of anger, frustration, resentment, self-doubt, fear, shame, and guilt. I was told over and over again that those feelings were wrong and I needed to overcome them. But no one taught me how to overcome them. So I did what I knew how to do: I shoved them down, I buried them, and I pretended they didn’t exist. And I ate.
And yet, the few times that my full feelings were unleashed, I felt alive and powerful (even though I felt wrong and guilty about that). And it was scary.
And talking about those feelings is not the same as feeling them.
Being numb to my feelings kept me in a prison of safety. I stayed in an empty, unfulfilling, and emotionally abusive marriage for 23 years. I stayed in an unfulfilling and soul-killing job for 25 years. I stayed in my cocoon of being proper when I wanted to fly and soar and create and dance.
I became a master at settling. I settled for crumbs when I wanted the feast. I settled for numb when I wanted exhilaration. I settled for isolation when I wanted involvement. I settled for comfortable when I wanted purpose.
Paolo Coelho told Oprah he was put into a mental hospital by his parents for wanting to be a writer. I loved his response when Oprah said that people tell her "I don't know what I'm supposed to do with my life"
"They know. It's very difficult, Oprah to accept that you know what you are supposed to be doing when you are not doing it. Because from the moment that you know, you either have to leave a lot of things behind or live aware that you are not fully treasuring the miracle of being alive" - Paolo Coelho
I left my life behind. And I’ve finally gone back and claimed it.
Why do we love ideas like this: Experience. Dream. Close your eyes and jump. Enjoy the freefall. Choose exhilaration over comfort. Choose magic over predictability. Choose potential over safety. Wake up to the magic of everyday life. Awaken to the brilliance in ordinary moments…….?
Because those ideas rekindle our feelings! They move us out of thinking, analyzing, or rationalizing and allow us to dance with daring and flirt with freedom.
Have you left your life behind? Are you settling? Are you beating yourself up because you call yourself lazy or not motivated? Maybe you are just numb.
CALL TO ACTION: In the next 24-48 hours
- List 4 - 6 habits or obstacles that are preventing you from either a) accomplishing your dreams or b) taking the next step to move away from being numb
- Once you have your list, ask yourself, "Is this habit or obstacle worth exchanging my dream for?"
- Then ask yourself, "Am I willing to leave this behind?"
It's time to say "yes" to a greater idea of you!
Sometimes you just need some encouragement or a small course correction. Moving out of your comfort zone can be scary, but you’re not alone and you are stronger than you think. If you’re ready for a different point of view or to shift to something new, I can help. You can connect with me by scheduling your free 45-minute Say Yes to Yourself Strategy call by clicking the button below.