You are the Expert on YOU

2021.11.18 Ask an Expert

Isn’t it time you listened to your own wisdom?

Sometimes I actually read what I write bookeyeglasses. Well, I read it again! And after re-reading my blogs from last two weeks, I said to myself, “Self, I can’t believe you wrote that! What sort of mixed messages are you sending?”

Let me tell you why I was shocked and stupefied. My last blog said this: We get afraid when all we focus on is the outcome and the subtext is don’t focus on the outcome; instead focus on smaller steps.

And in my blog before that, I say this: It’s more productive to focus on one thing at a time. And that subtext is also about not focusing on the outcome, but on smaller steps.

And yet, in other blogs I mention that according to the Law of Attraction (and all of the LoA gurus), we need to focus on what we want; in other words, the outcome. I’ve been known to endlessly talk about keeping our focus on our desires. Do you see my dilemma here?

So, which is it? Do we focus on the small steps or do we focus on our desires?

Which expert do we listen to? Is there a ‘one-size-fits-all’ methodology to create the life of our dreams? No wonder we may be confused and confounded when the messages we read and hear aren’t consistent. And when we’re confused, what happens? Not1a much (or we get mixed results).

Some people do get afraid when they focus on the outcome and others get inspired and motivated. Some people are more productive when they focus on one thing at a time (remember the Pomodoro Technique?) and others get bogged down and overwhelmed by those day-to-day details but can easily move forward in the direction of the big picture.

You are an expert on YOU!

Would you like to guess where my focus has been most of my life? It has been on the smaller steps and not on the big picture. I mentioned in my last blog, I’m good at starting things and maybe that’s because I have a narrower focus and I can easily take the next inspired step, but I generally don’t have any long-term strategies in place. And that’s why I have a coach.

Sometimes not seeing the entire outcome is frustrating for those around me. But it works for me. For example, when I knew I wanted to move to Spokane (that was the big picture), I didn’t know where in Spokane and I didn’t know what sort of housing I wanted (mobile home, small single-family, income property, etc.). I had too many options and wasn’t focused enough according to my daughter and my realtor.

And yet, when I’m allowing myself to be the expert on ME, I get to experience the juiciness and joy in the small steps that I know will lead me to my desire.

And like so many other choices, perhaps it’s not simply a matter of either/or. Maybe it’s not about focusing on the outcome OR focusing on the steps. Maybe it’s about focusing on the outcome AND focusing on the steps.

And sometimes you might need some help getting out of your own way and out of your comfort zone. Sometimes you just need a different viewpoint or help getting unstuck. I can help with that. And if not me, find someone you trust and feel comfortable and let them help you find your way back to your own inner wisdom.  

Bottom line, don’t ignore your own guidance simply because someone else claims to be an expert. Trust yourself. Believe in yourself. And love yourself enough to change if your current way of thinking and behaving isn’t working out.

Here are a couple of fun steps you can take this week:high_heelhigh_heel

  • Determine if it is easier for you to focus on the outcome (the ultimate dream, the big picture) or if it is easier for you to focus on the smaller steps that start you in the direction of your ultimate dream. Once you know which one is easier for you, then
  • Take some time in the next couple of days to consciously work on the other one.
    • If you are a small-step focuser: Allow yourself to dream big and bask in the feeling and delight of your desired outcome. Write it down and enjoy the feeling of ‘having it.’
    • If you are a big-picture focuser: See if you can get excited about one or two small steps you can take in the next day or two to bring that big idea into the more mundane tasks.

Say "YES" to yourself and trust in your own inner guidance!

Rock On

About Janet

Women hire Janet to design a life of meaning, fulfillment, and passion because most struggle with putting everyone else first, playing small, and feeling like a fraud. She helps them crush their excuses so they can move beyond the negative voices in their head and unleash their purpose, unmask their self-confidence, and uncover possibilities that they have been blind to.

Bottom line: You need to say “YES” to yourself to live the aligned life you were meant to live.


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