It takes an enormous amount of energy to try to be someone you’re not.
Your true self - your AUTHENTIC self - longs to come out and reveal herself (or himself) to the world. The downside of keeping your authentic self in hiding is that it ultimately results in pain: spiritual pain, emotional pain, relationship pain, or even physical pain.
Most of us spend our entire lives avoiding pain, criticism, and rejection. We think by pretending to be something (or someone) we’re not, we’ll avoid being vulnerable. We don’t make waves. We don’t rock the boat. We look for ways to be acceptable to those around us. We bite our tongue and don’t speak up.
Why are we so damn scared of being who we were created to be? Remember, you are a once-in-a-lifetime-never-to-be-repeated-or-duplicated-cosmic-event. Why do we try and pretend to be otherwise? What early messages did we receive (and ultimately believe) that keeps us stuck, small, and in a box?
I share a little of my early days as a shape-shifting people-pleaser in my blog.
Ultimately, if you spend so much of your energy trying to be someone you’re not, you’ll end up self-sabotaging yourself and burning yourself out. What sort of pain will you experience then?
Yes, it’s vulnerable and scary to reveal your heart and soul to the world. But it’s also one of the most courageous and healing things you can do. Our mind gremlins have convinced us that the scariness far outweighs any benefits. We project how other people will react or what they’ll say. Our projections are probably wrong.
You see, when you show up authentically, you give others permission to show up the same way. It’s just that nobody wants to talk about it. Nobody wants to appear vulnerable. Nobody wants to go first. But somebody has to go first. Maybe that can be you.
I can tell you from personal experience, that pushing past my fear and moving into authentic-hood and vulnerability was sort of anti-climactic. I thought I would turn people off or that others would be repulsed, shocked, or offended. I thought I would be judged and rejected (because I thought the ‘real’ me was moody and unlikeable). Instead, I either got a non-reaction or agreement. Not what I anticipated at all. I didn’t even need a sword to slay my dragon.
If you’ve had your heart broken, been abandoned, rejected, given up on yourself / your dreams / your gifts, or been made to feel like a black sheep, chances are good you want to belong. Some of us mistakenly try to fit in.
If you are a person who was designed to stand out - you are never going to fit in.
How are you trying to be someone different than who you are? Why are you trying to be someone different than who you are? It’s important not to let anyone else define who you are.
My ‘tagline’ is see the possibilities of a life where you say ‘yes’ to yourself. It’s time to say ‘yes’ to your brilliance, ‘yes’ to your value, ‘yes’ to your feelings, ‘yes’ to your passion, ‘yes’ to your vision, ‘yes’ to shifting your perspective, ‘yes’ to living authentically, ‘yes’ to being you, and ‘yes’ to standing out.
What else can you say ‘yes’ to?
Choosing self-care, self-worth, and self-confidence might take some practice, especially if it doesn’t come naturally to you. And maybe you’re feeling the nudge. If you’re ready to shift to something new, I can help.
You can connect with me by scheduling your free 45 minute Say Yes to Yourself Strategy call by clicking here.
Say 'YES' to yourself and reveal your authentic self
Janet Kingsley is an effective 'Belief Change Expert' who helps clients transform frustration to focus, confusion to clarity, and self-doubt to self-confidence.