Krishna spoke to his people and said, “Here. I have a very special gift for you, the gift of joy, of happiness, of prosperity. Won’t you reach out and take it?” “Thank you,” they say, “but we can’t, you see. Our hands are full of these sweet mangoes.” Krishna smiles, “Let go of the mangoes,” he explains patiently, “then your hands will be free.” “But Lord”, they protest. “We like mangoes. Why don’t you give us your present first, then we promise we’ll let go of the mangoes.”
What are your mangoes? What are your limiting ideas that you hang onto that you are refusing to let go of? What are the excuses you make that are blocking the flow in your life? Is it fear? Lack of self-confidence? Blame? Anger? Resentment? Guilt? Worry? Shame? Righteous Indignation? Judgment?
Fighting for your limitations or excuses is just not worth it!
Lighten your load by letting something go. Start small. Re-frame a belief. Do something different. Try something new even if you’re scared. Be open to a new way of perceiving something.
This is one way to see the possibilities of a life where you say ‘yes’ to yourself.
Let’s face it, I’m a Type A personality. I get a lot done. I love checklists (and I love checking off those lists). I am a high performer and a high achiever. And I bought into the hype that this is the ‘right’ way to be. And yet, even after accomplishing so much, I still felt empty. If I could just do a little more, then I’d be complete, right? Wrong.
Once again I found myself not tuning into my own wisdom. I was busy chasing some arbitrary measure of success and ignoring what really makes me ‘tick’ - that is until the COVID-19 self-isolation order. Oh sure, I have a daily meditation and gratitude practice, but I used that practice to recharge my batteries so I could get back to being a high achiever.
I was already veering away from the notion that pursuing excellence and high performance was the right path for me. But now, away from distractions like movies, eating out, plays, volunteering and all the other things I like to do, I had plenty of time for reflection and deep listening. And I was able to reclaim what seemed to be a missing piece for me - - a missing peace.
Being re-connected and re-committed to my own path, and listening to my own wisdom, is an unexpected gift I allowed to flow in during these ‘interesting’ times.
What gifts have you received from ‘sheltering in place?’
Committing yourself to traveling your own patch is one way to see the possibilities of a life where you say ‘yes’ to yourself.
Can we identify ourselves by our true nature or are we doomed to judge ourselves by our appearance, or our lifestyle,or our careers, or our looks, or what’s going on in the world around us? We always have a choice at how we respond to any situation. We don’t have to be at the mercy of events and situations. We are the creators of our own experience.
There’s a lot of talk about being contagious right now and the need to social distancing (and it is really physical distancing; we are actually socially connecting more and more). But we can be contagious in other ways. We can be contagious in our joy, in our outlook, in our attitude, in our compassion, and in our resiliency.
Of course, we can also be contagious in our anxiety, fear-mongering, blaming, and depression. Which do you choose?
Choose you! Always choose you! You are enough. You are complete. You are loved. You are amazing.
My initial response to that question is a very loud 'NOOOOO.' Of course, I'd rather be good. I want to be recognized for my talent, my work, my contribution, and my brilliance. I don't want to rely on luck!
But what if luck wasn't luck at all, but mindset? A mindset that your work is recognized for the gift it is. A mindset that things always work out for the best. A mindset that you are in the right place at the right time - - and with the results you want.
It might look like luck, but is it?
Jim Rohn is often quoted as saying: You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. If this is true, would that be good news or bad news for you?
I don’t know if this statement is true, but I will agree that the people we surround ourselves with have a big influence on our lives. If you surround yourself with those who are frustrated, dissatisfied, fearful, worried all the time, complainers, and people pleasers then they bring those aspects out in you because that’s what they want to talk about. You commiserate with them. They trigger the areas in your own life where you are frustrated, dissatisfied, or fearful. You get to be on the same wavelength together.
But do you want to stay there? Probably not.
Maybe you’re ready to start thriving. Maybe you’re ready to crush your excuses and begin to design a life of purpose and meaning. Maybe you want to find more supportive people but don’t know how or where to find them. Maybe you need some help to get unstuck from your stories.
I can see a huge difference in the quality of my life between a couple of years ago and now since I made a shift in those I surround myself with. I speak about that in the video.
I have a couple of opportunities coming up and I hope you’ll join me in one (or more) of them.
Devaluing yourself blocks the flow of all forms of prosperity: money, relationships, creativity, health, and spiritual enrichment.
The simple fact is that we can’t feel prosperous while we are also experiencing the effects of devaluing ourselves. We can’t be settling for less and expect to experience increase. We can’t tolerate crumbs and expect the entire loaf.
And yet when we refuse to climb out of our comfort zone, that is exactly what we are doing. We need to do something to shake ourselves out of boredom, settling, and playing it safe.
In this video, I share a song that woke me up from a financial slumber a number of years ago. Maybe you can create your own song!
Our greatness, when reflected back to us, can be overwhelming.
it is so overwhelming, in fact, that we often deflect or deny our greatness (or awesomeness or amazingness).
We don't see ourselves as others see us. We need to lean into the feeling of discomfort and denial and allow ourselves to feel - - and be honest about our discomfort - - and then we open ourselves up to actually receive the blessing of our greatness that is being reflected back to us.
Playing small and refusing to accept our greatness doesn't do anyone any good.
We often don’t realize the impact we have on others, even when we’re just being ourselves. Who we are matters and what we do matters.
If I said to you, “you didn’t come here to be good enough, or competent, or mediocre - - you came here to be AWESOME,” would you believe me?
Sometimes we get caught up with what other people think we should do or how other people think we should behave that we bury our own essence to play by someone else’s rules. This is a losing (not to mention soul-sucking) proposition for us.
There is something that lights you up. There is something that turns you on. There is something that is meant just for you. You can call it your ‘secret sauce’ or your ‘super power’ or your ‘joy juice’ but whatever you call it, it’s imperative you do MORE of it.
In my life, I was ‘too loud’ or ‘too boisterous’ and I needed to tone things down. I wasn’t supposed to be a show off and I had to keep my ideas to myself and act like a lady. No wonder I swallowed my voice and felt like I needed to be a shrinking violet. Maybe my love of ‘bling’ is my quiet way of being loud and boisterous.
How do you measure your life?
Many of us measure of our life based on our accomplishments, accolades, and achievements. But what happens if those aren’t as plentiful as we hoped for? Do we then measure our life as a failure? Or hum-drum? Or mediocre?
Life isn’t only about the great and the grand, the big moments and the applause, the peak experiences and the victories. If we measure our life based on these things, then we are basing our life using someone else’s rules.
Life is beautiful and complicated; it is glorious and painful; it is breakthroughs and setbacks; it is confidence and questioning.
Sally Hogshead wrote, “Life isn’t meant to be tolerated. It’s meant to be savored, devoured, marrow sucked and lips smacked.”
1. Fall in love with the moments, either past or present, to re-engage and re-ignite your sense of wonder.
2. Savor your breakthroughs as proof of your strength, courage, and resiliency.
3. Appreciate yourself. You are a freaking supernova after all.
Do you ever ask yourself, "What's the meaning of life?" Or how about "What's my purpose?" Or even "Why am I here?"
I’ve asked myself those questions many times. In fact, I even asked others those questions as well. When I would ask those questions of my former husband, he’s would reply simply, “Janet, you think too much.” Boy, that answer was most definitely what I did NOT want to hear.
As I reflect back, I would ask myself those questions (in one form or another) when I was feeling unfulfilled, unloved, unhappy, empty, without joy or purpose, wandering, hollow, disconnected, and lost. As a Buddhist might put it, I was ‘suffering.’ I was searching for more meaning, more aliveness, more purpose, or more joy.
Have you ever felt that way? Have you ever asked those types of questions?
Janet works with women who struggle with putting everyone else first, settling, playing small, and not following their dreams. She helps them move beyond the negative voices in their head so they can unleash their purpose, unmask their brilliance, and uncover possibilities that they have been blind to.