“Don’t act like you are walking around with a Tshirt that says "I give Up!" on the front and on the back saying "I never started trying!"
I don’t know about you, but I wasn’t very good at trying new things.
Being a bit of a perfectionist (okay, okay - - more than a bit), I knew I probably wouldn’t be perfect the first time I tried something new, so I just didn’t do it. I thought I’d rather get better at what I’m already good at. That was just an excuse to stay small.
Food. If I hadn’t already tried it, I wasn’t interested. My reasoning was this: “If it tasted good, my mom would have already served it to me growing up. She didn’t, so it must not taste that good.” So, I was in my 20s before I tried avocados, artichokes, or Japanese food. And it took about a million ‘no’s’ before I finally said ‘yes.’ I missed out on some good food, right? Another excuse to stay small.
Sometimes trying something new doesn’t work out so well.
The first time I tried to snow ski (I was in my 30s) at Lake Tahoe, I fell every single time I got off the chair lift. Talk about embarrassing! ‘Lean forward’ the guy said and I really thought I was leaning forward but I was falling backwards, so that didn’t make sense. Then I heard these magic words: “Try to stand on your tip toes when you get off the chair lift.” That did the trick. Something I could understand. From then on, no more falling backwards. And I was off snowplowing down the hill.
And sometimes trying something new works out just fine.
I had a fear of public speaking just like most people. In fact, when I was a Realtor, I couldn’t get up in front of the rest of the Realtors to even ask anyone to go visit my open house on Realtor caravan day. I had to get someone else to do it. So, imagine my terror the first time I had to speak when I was in ministerial training. I dreaded the day; I wanted to run away and pretend I was sick. Luckily, my fear of losing face was greater than my fear of speaking. I don’t think I did that well, but I didn’t die! And today, delivering a talk is one of my favorite things to do. And people tell me I’m good at it. Funny, too.
We are overloaded with excuses aren’t we?
We tell ourselves things like:
These excuses are the prison we are in and it’s challenging to escape those bonds. But it’s possible. Trying something new (even something small) helps break those chains, increase our self-confidence, and unleash our creativity.
And we don’t even have to be good at it in order for our confidence to be boosted and for us to feel unstoppable (not to mention badass)
You are a freaking supernova (BTW, I got the most comments on that video – maybe it was the catchy title!) and supernovas are bold and brilliant and badass and take chances and make decisions, and laugh, and sing, and dance, and savor – even if they don’t know what they’re doing.
I’ve tried new things and some ended up being peak experiences for me – even though I didn’t know what I was doing and was often scared to death.
You’re not going to create the life of your dreams if you keep doing the same things over and over again, right? Yes, you might fail (and if you’re anything like me, you have a lot of practice at failing), but you might also feel exhilarated or discover a hidden talent or become a role-model or even (gasp!) succeed and have fun!
Let’s get started.
Janet Kingsley is an effective 'Belief Change Expert' who helps clients transform frustration to focus, confusion to clarity, and self-doubt to self-confidence.