Whether you "settle" for less than you want in a relationship or in any other area of your life, the knowledge that you have compromised your heart and intuitive truth will consciously or unconsciously lead you to sabotage your own choice.
Settling for less is a form of self-sabotage!
But we may not be aware of it at the time. We think we are being polite, being a good friend, being a good spouse, or being an attentive parent.
We don't want to appear selfish or self-serving so we become super-willing to abandon our own dreams in favor of supporting someone else's. And then one day we wake up and realize we've been living someone else's life.
Has that ever happened to you? Boy - it sure has happened to me. In fact, I had a PhD in Settling! And I didn't even realize it. I thought I was being a supportive wife. I thought it was my job to make sure my husband felt fulfilled. I thought I was doing everything right, so...
Why was I so unhappy? Why was I a malcontent?
I didn’t realize that by saying ‘yes’ to everyone else I was actually diminishing my self-respect. I didn’t understand that by not paying attention to my own dreams, goals, and desires I was de-valuing myself. I didn’t realize I was betraying myself. No wonder I was unhappy and unfulfilled.
And my husband wasn’t demanding that I support him and his goals and desires. He was ready and willing to pursue them whether or not I was ‘all in.’ Deep down, I think I was hoping for some reciprocation – you know, if I did what he wanted, then he’d do what I wanted. But it didn’t work out that way.
I never got my turn.
And I wasn’t really good at asking for my turn. When I did, it came off as needy and whiney. That’s never going to amount to a win.
Here’s the rub. When we settle, even if we tell ourselves it is for a good reason, we know we are settling. We know we’ve compromised our values or our dream or our goals. And this leads to internal negativity, broken promises to ourselves, and a lack of self-trust. Next stop: self-sabotage!
We need to learn to make better choices –
And I’ve developed a tool (a special day planner, you can sign up for it on my website) that helps me stay focused on what’s important….me! When I’m at my best, I’m much more productive at work, I’m more in tune with my intuitive nature, and I’m more present, clear, and focused when working with clients.
No self-sabotage there – and it is a win-win-win all around. I hope you’ll join me.
Until next time,
Have some fun, stay aware, and rock on!
Janet is an effective 'Belief Change Expert' who helps clients go from Overwhelm to Overjoyed, from Confusion to Clarity, and from Surviving to Thriving. Whether you want to grow your business or grow your self-esteem, Janet helps people believe in their own potential and transform their dreams into fulfilling, inspired, and prosperous realities. Janet can help you get the rapid results you are looking for.
Believing in you and your possibilities.
Visit my Facebook Page: facebook.com/Possibility.Doctor/
Janet Kingsley is an effective 'Belief Change Expert' who helps clients transform frustration to focus, confusion to clarity, and self-doubt to self-confidence.