“Success is a state of mind. If you want success,
Success. We all want it and so few of us think we are it.
Let me ask you a question: what is your definition of success? Did you get this definition from your parents or teachers? Or maybe from your employer? Or maybe from the gazillion success gurus out there?
When we rely on other people to determine what success ‘looks like,’ then it’s often very challenging to live up to that determination.
Here’s what Webster has to say: “the fact of getting or achieving wealth, respect, or fame.” And what do all of those have in common? They are outward reflections that other people can judge. Ick.
Can peace of mind be considered success? What about self-satisfaction? Or maybe self-development and personal growth can be considered success. Personally, I love the idea of success stemming from each one of us living like we matter.
I subscribe to a lot of blogs, videos, and newsletters (too many). I downsize my subscriptions and then I upsize – and it’s time for another downsize. And so many of these blogs, videos, and newsletters focus on productivity and success. And while I get inspiration from many of them, it seems they mostly focus on externals like money and business building (okay, okay – those are the types of things I subscribe to).
My point of view is that success is NOT just about those things that we can measure.
Success isn’t about what we can ‘show off’ but how we ‘show up.’
In the past week, four people have reached out to me for support and encouragement – and I showed up to the best of my ability for each of them.
I think I helped ease their mind. I intended to give them a safe place to share and vent. I offered my support. I’ll bet you did the same this week. To me, that’s success. You can’t see it and it can’t be measured except by some sort of satisfied and joyous feeling.
I have to remind myself over and over and over again to listen to my own inner knowing, even if it’s different from the masses. What does your inner knowing tell you that you may not be listening to? I’m an introvert so I spend a lot of time reflecting and thinking.
Who defined what beauty is for you? Who defined the role of ‘good mother’ or ‘good wife’ or ‘good daughter’ (if you’re a man, replace with father, husband, and son of course!). Who decided what you had to say wasn’t important? Or maybe that loud, boisterous, or outrageous wasn’t acceptable or ladylike? Who defined success?
You are important and amazing and awesome so whatever you are up to is important and amazing and awesome and it needs to be shared.
So, maybe success is when you realize you are important and amazing and awesome (aka badass) and live like you matter.
Let’s redefine success together.
Janet Kingsley is an effective 'Belief Change Expert' who helps clients transform frustration to focus, confusion to clarity, and self-doubt to self-confidence.