Do you know who Neil Gaiman is?
Neil Gaiman is an English author of short fiction, novels, comic books, and more. He’s won numerous awards including the Hugo, the Newbery Medal, and Carnegie Medal. His 2012 Commencement speech at the University of the Arts has been viewed close to a million times. And my personal favorite: He wrote a couple of episodes of Dr. Who.
In other words, he’s amazingly awesome. And he wrote something interesting on his blog recently that I want to share with you:
Some years ago, I was lucky enough to be invited to a gathering of great and good people: artists and scientists, writers and discoverers of things. And I felt that at any moment they would realize that I didn’t qualify to be there, among these people who had really done things.
That wonderful internal dialog warning us that all of our doubts and fears are crashing in around us; that our success is due to luck, and that we may be discovered and unmasked as a fraud or phony at any moment. Can you relate?
Often, Impostor Syndrome goes hand-in-hand with perfectionism where we think we have to do everything perfectly and by ourselves. That means never asking for help. After all, if we ask for help we’re sure to be found out, right?
And when we feel like an impostor we are not authentic, not establishing close relationships, and we are certainly not in a place of joy. The good news? Impostor Syndrome generally affects high achievers. So, if you feel like a fraud, chances are you are seen as a successful, high achiever!
Let me give you two tricks you can use to help lessen or eliminate these feelings that you are not good enough!
1. Take a look at what you do well. Let’s get real for a moment, okay? We can’t all be good at everything. But we are good at certain things. And just because you are good it and it comes easy to you does not mean it has not value. Write down what you are really good at. Maybe it’s organizing, maybe it’s strategizing, or maybe it’s taking a complex idea and making it simple. Write down what you are really good at and embrace that. Then, jot down those areas where there is room for improvement. Now, take time to appreciate your area of expertise and celebrate yourself.
2. Change your thinking (who didn’t know that was coming?). It’s time to reframe how we think about our achievements. It’s time to get real. Would it be possible to spend just one hour less on that particular project? Would you be willing to let someone read a draft that isn’t completely polished? Instead of being 100% perfect, would you be willing to have it be 95% perfect?
And of course bonus:
3. Talk to a mentor or someone who can help. We need to move away from comparing ourselves to others and embrace our own style and genius. Remember, you are not alone. It may not be so much about whether we fear failing, looking foolish, or not being perfect, it’s about whether or not we let those fears keep us from taking the actions needed to live more fully.
Until next time,
Have some fun, stay aware, and rock on!
Visit my Facebook Page
Believing in you and your possibilities
Janet is an effective 'Belief Change Expert' who helps clients go from Overwhelm to Overjoyed, from Confusion to Clarity, and from Surviving to Thriving. Whether you want to grow your business or grow your self-esteem, Janet helps people believe in their own potential and transform their dreams into fulfilling, inspired, and prosperous realities. Janet can help you get the rapid results you are looking for.
Janet Kingsley is an effective 'Belief Change Expert' who helps clients transform frustration to focus, confusion to clarity, and self-doubt to self-confidence.