“Everything you want is just outside your comfort zone.”
Is that true? Everything?
I have some of the things I want right now and they are firmly within my comfort zone. And I think it’s important not to downplay those things in order to go after those things that ARE outside of my comfort zone. (I could probably write an entire blog post on that alone, but that is for another time)
However, if you Google the title of this post you’ll find close to 1.3 million entries. Huffington Post will tell you 15 ways to manifest your desires. And you can find 15 steps with pictures on wikihow. You can find the 5 principles and the 3 secrets to manifest your desires and make your dreams a reality. And the list goes on and on.
Of course there are no secrets, are there? I’ll bet if I were to ask you how to manifest your dreams, you could tell me. And I’ll bet your list would include some or all of the following, wouldn’t it?
So, the question isn’t really “how do I manifest my desires” because you already know that. Our challenge is that we don’t act on our knowing.
Last year I had a goal (a desire) to create a morning routine. I had a feeling if I could create some sacred time in the morning, just for me, that my life would be transformed in some amazing way. I even wrote it all out and assessed how much morning time I’d need. 60 minutes.
My routine included having some hot lemon water, stretching and light yoga, meditation, some journaling, getting clear on the quality I wanted to be and what I wanted to enjoy that day, and completing my bold, brilliant, and badass daily planner (you can get yours free by signing up in the box on the right).
So, I set my alarm one hour earlier and my routine lasted about two weeks. And then I started making bargains with myself. “Well, I can combine the meditation with getting clear on how I want to be and what I want to enjoy. And I don’t really need the lemon water, do I? In fact, if I can just do the journaling I’ll consider it a win!”
Does that ever happen to you?
You start off strong, then begin to make compromises, and end up feeling frustrated (and like you’ve failed at something yet again)?
And then I remembered.
Success comes much more easily in baby steps! I tell that to my clients all the time. Baby steps. And celebrate those baby steps.
I think we are impatient and we want our desires to manifest immediately! So we are gung ho and we visualize, affirm, surrender, trust, etc. but it doesn’t last long. We haven’t created a manifesting habit yet. We need to start small.
For me, instead of setting my alarm for 60 minutes early, I can start by getting up 10 minutes early. And then when I get used to that (after a couple of weeks), then I can move it up another 10 minutes.
And starting small also means choosing one behavior at a time. For my morning routine, the logical first step is getting up earlier – and I could break that down into even smaller steps, like setting the alarm and not hitting the snooze button and then the next step of actually getting out of bed! But I could choose stretching and yoga as my first baby step. Instead of the 15 minutes I allotted, what if I start with just 5 minutes (and go longer if I felt like it)?
In this way, little by little, we are building new habits – or manifesting muscles.
And don’t get sucked into the idea that if after 21 days you haven’t cemented this new habit then you’re a failure, because the 21 days to a new habit is a myth. In his book, Psycho-Cybernetics, Maxwell Maltz observed, “it requires a minimum of about 21 days for an old mental image to dissolve a new one to jell.”
In more recent studies, there is evidence that it is much more common for a new habit to form in about 66 days, and sometimes longer.
So, you have some desires. Choose one and break it down into baby steps. What teeny, tiny step can you take consistently to make a new habit? Choose your own or look at the list above. What one little thing can you do differently and consistently? I’d love for you to post what that is in the comments below.
Of course, if you need help choosing a baby step, let’s chat.
Janet is an effective 'Belief Change Expert' who helps worn-out women who are tired of saying ‘yes’ to everyone else but themselves and feel like they are settling move from living life in neutral to living a bold, brilliant, and badass life.
If you are ready to step out of fear and self-doubt (and self-sabotage) so you can reclaim your power and mojo and be the inspiring, elegant, courageous, and passionate heroine you were born to be, Janet can help you get the results you are longing for.
Believing in you and your possibilities!
Janet Kingsley is an effective 'Belief Change Expert' who helps clients transform frustration to focus, confusion to clarity, and self-doubt to self-confidence.