“Life isn’t meant to be tolerated. It’s meant to be savored, devoured, marrow sucked and
How do you measure your life?
Many of us measure of our life based on our accomplishments, accolades, and achievements. But what happens if those aren’t as plentiful as we hoped for? Do we then measure our life as a failure? Or hum-drum? Or mediocre?
If we only measure our life based on the ‘big’ things, we can miss the precious moments in-between. We can get so caught up on the championships, the awards, and the ‘attaboys’ (or ‘attagirls) that anything less than a peak experience doesn’t count and we can find ourselves with low self-confidence and low self-esteem.
Facebook envy is a very real phenomenon when we measure our life based on what others are posting.
I love my peak experiences and big moments. I love basking in the afterflow of those things I’d be proud to write in my bio.
But there’s more to me (and my life) than that….so much more.
Life isn’t just about the great and the grand, the big moments and the applause, the peak experiences and the victories. If we measure our life based on these things, we are basing our life using someone else’s rules.
Been there. Done that.
When I was in the ministry, one of the first questions other ministers would ask was, “How big is your congregation?” Now my congregation was a pitiful 25 or so (and many Sundays, much less). Do I hang my head down in shame when I answer? Do I mumble the number? Do I exaggerate and say 50? I’ll be honest, I was embarrassed because I felt like the work I was doing wasn’t ‘measuring up’ to some idea of what ‘success’ looked like in the church business.
No one I talked to ever asked, “Are you making a difference?” “Are you inspiring others?” “Are you helping people create better and more meaningful lives?” “Are you growing and evolving?” “Are you living your passion?” Because if they asked me that, I could stand tall and proudly state, “Yes, yes, yes, yes, and YES!!”
And I know it isn’t just the ministry. Many of us tend to measure our lives based on the expectations or yardsticks of our family, our peers, or our industry. Can you see how defeating that can be?
There is so much magic in the moments!
We can measure our lives in a different way. A way that makes a lot more sense (at least to me).
1. Fall in love with the moments, either past or present, to re-engage and re-ignite your sense of wonder.
Lounging in bed, luxuriating in a relaxing bubble bath, the kindness of neighbors, an impromptu (or scheduled) lunch with friends, the delightful scents of the florist department at the grocery store, full-service gas stations, being a safe shoulder to cry on, the smell of rain coming, double rainbows (or even single rainbows). The list of moments is endless. Fall in love with 3 or 4 or 5 (or more!) moments every day.
2. Savor your breakthroughs
You’ve probably heard the phrase ‘breakthroughs come after breakdowns’ – and boy do we resist the breakdowns. They don’t feel good. Not only that, we often feel like we aren’t ‘measuring up’ if we experience a breakdown. However, for every breakthrough we’ve proved our ability to grow and expand, to love more deeply, and to understand more fully. We’ve demonstrated our resiliency, determination, strength, and courage.
3. Appreciate yourself.
I can’t stress this one enough. Every day in so many ways, we show up. We pray for a friend in need. We share our wisdom. We recycle and donate to worthy causes. We set healthy boundaries (big appreciation needed for this one, right?). We smile and give genuine compliments. We let someone go ahead of us in the checkout line if they only have a few items. The list is endless, because…..
…you are a freaking supernova after all!
I’d love to hear your comments on moments you can fall in love with.
Janet Kingsley is an effective 'Belief Change Expert' who helps clients transform frustration to focus, confusion to clarity, and self-doubt to self-confidence.