When I am numb, it’s nearly impossible to be motivated or to succeed.
The trouble is that I was numb for most of my life. I was numb to my real feelings of anger, frustration, resentment, self-doubt, fear, shame, and guilt. I was told over and over again that those feelings were wrong and I needed to overcome them. But no one taught me how to overcome them. So I did what I knew how to do: I shoved them down, I buried them, and I pretended they didn’t exist. And I ate.
And yet, the few times that my full feelings were unleashed, I felt alive and powerful (even though I felt wrong and guilty about that). And it was scary.
And talking about those feelings is not the same as feeling them.
Being numb to my feelings kept me in a prison of safety. I stayed in an empty, unfulfilling, and emotionally abusive marriage for 23 years. I stayed in an unfulfilling and soul-killing job for 25 years. I stayed in my cocoon of being proper when I wanted to fly and soar and create and dance.
I became a master at settling. I settled for crumbs when I wanted the feast. I settled for numb when I wanted exhilaration. I settled for isolation when I wanted involvement. I settled for comfortable when I wanted purpose.
Paolo Coelho told Oprah he was put into a mental hospital by his parents for wanting to be a writer. I loved his response when Oprah said that people tell her "I don't know what I'm supposed to do with my life"
I left my life behind. And I’ve finally gone back and claimed it.
Why do we love ideas like this: "Experience. Dream. Close your eyes and jump. Enjoy the freefall. Choose exhilaration over comfort. Choose magic over predictability. Choose potential over safety. Wake up to the magic of everyday life. Awaken to the brilliance in ordinary moments……."? Because those ideas rekindle our feelings! They move us out of thinking, analyzing, or rationalizing and allow us to dance with daring and flirt with freedom.
Have you left your life behind? Are you settling? Are you beating yourself up because you call yourself lazy or not motivated? Are you tired of settling? Maybe you are just numb.
CALL TO ACTION: In the next 24 – 48 hours
It’s time to say ‘yes’ to a greater idea of you.
Would you like to get crystal clear on what you want to embrace in your life and describe the kind of lifestyle you want to create? Would you like support in discovering how you can use your special gifts and talents to make a difference? Would you like to uncover hidden challenges that may be sabotaging you? Let’s have a Breakthrough session and we'll finish the call with you feeling renewed, re-energized, and inspired to start your Best Life EVER!
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Janet Kingsley is an effective 'Belief Change Expert' who helps clients transform frustration to focus, confusion to clarity, and self-doubt to self-confidence.