“Examine how your fears and the ensuing protection behaviors impact your life. What fears are stunting your growth? Where did these fears come from? Are they necessary [in your life today]? Are they real [today]? Are they contributing to a full life? If we can control our fears, we can regain control over our lives”
It’s funny what we remember. I can clearly remember about 4 years ago when I was having some blood work done. The lab tech excused herself to help with a patient in the next room. It was an 8 year-old boy who was getting his blood drawn. He was crying...a lot. His mother and his little sister were also in the room with him. I could hear the lab tech saying, "don't move so much or it will hurt more." She said this over and over again. Obviously, it wasn't working.
And then it happened. Shrieking!
Loud, fearful screaming. I knew it was at that point when the little boy saw the needle. Why didn't anyone tell him to close his eyes? At this point, I was getting tense and nervous. I was actually allowing this boy's fear to have an effect on me (and I don't mind getting blood drawn.)
And then it was quiet. The very thing he was trying to get away from, the thing he was hoping his screams would prevent was now at hand - and it wasn't so bad. I wondered if he asked himself why he made such a big deal over it, but he was probably just glad he was alive.
How many times are we like that little boy? We worry and fret; we think this will be the worst day of our lives; we create dragons and monsters in our minds.
No one tells us to close our eyes or think of something else. And after all of our fear and worry, we realize it wasn't so bad after all. Even if we don't always realize it, we are always free to choose thoughts of joy, happiness, security, and love and we don't have to keep revisiting the dungeon of fear.
Whenever we are contemplating moving out of our comfort zones - in other words, moving into the unknown - we will feel fear! We are simply hard-wired that way. So as long as we are growing, stretching, finding our higher and higher ways of being and of living; as long as we are calling forth more and more and more of our inner brilliance; as long as we seek the experience of moving toward our dreams, we will feel fear.
Here's what I'm wondering: instead of running away from fear screaming, can we learn to make friends with our emotions?
So many of us want to be 'fearless' and yet the question really isn’t “can we live without fear?” but rather, “are we going to let fear paralyze us into stagnation (or God forbid, settling) because if we buy into the fear, we’re done! Or are we going to feel the fear and personally and spiritually grow anyway?”
The next time you are thinking about moving out of your comfort zone and making the move into your possibility zone remember these simple tips:
1. Take a few deep breaths. Taking some time (even a minute) to breathe and focus on your breathing will help to immediately calm that internal mind chatter that is painting a picture in your mind of the worst case scenario. Your mind is your greatest asset and it only needs a nudge to help guide it toward a new direction.
2. Ask yourself fear-busting questions. Ask yourself, “Where did this fear come from?” “Is it necessary in my life today?” “Is it real today?” “Is it contributing to a full life?”
3. Take a small step forward. Sometimes we are looking at the “big” end result and that brings up “big” fear. However, a small step forward may simply mean we will experience a sense of discomfort in a “small” way. And most of us have plenty of practice and experience feeling just a teeny bit uncomfortable.
4. Celebrate and notice. It doesn’t matter what small step you decided to take, praise and celebrate yourself for your courage. Maybe it was simply you didn’t run away; maybe it was simply not giving up on your dream; maybe it was simply saying only one sentence to someone else that helped make you feel more confident. Small victories will lead to giant breakthroughs.
So, yes, we can feel the fear, yet move forward anyway. We can grow anyway. We can transform anyway. We can express our greatness anyway. We can love anyway. We can create anyway. We can sing and dance anyway. We can forgive anyway. We can smile anyway. We can live fully and joyfully anyway.
Janet is an effective 'Belief Change Expert' who helps clients go from Overwhelm to Overjoyed, from Confusion to Clarity, and from Surviving to Thriving. Whether you want to grow your business or grow your self-esteem, Janet helps people believe in their own potential and transform their dreams into fulfilling, inspired, and prosperous realities. Janet can help you get the rapid results you are looking for.
Believing in you and your possibilities.
Janet Kingsley is an effective 'Belief Change Expert' who helps clients transform frustration to focus, confusion to clarity, and self-doubt to self-confidence.