"Everyone has been made for some particular work, and the desire for that work has been put in every heart." ~Rumi
I talk a lot about desires (and dreams and goals).
And here’s why. So many of us have put our desires on the back burner. That was most definitely true for me when I was busy working for a living, settling for a job that helped pay the bills, build for my retirement (or so I thought), and offered medical and dental insurance. But was so very unfulfilling in every way.
I was starving my desires until one day they simply withered away. Now, years later, after careful tending, watering, and weeding, they are growing again…and thriving. And I still need a lot more practice in nurturing and embracing my desires.
And I’m not the only one.
I talk to young women who tell me that they’d rather be liked than be happy. And so they silence their voice and squash their desires. I wonder what their life will be like in 20 years. Will they have completely forgotten their passion and dreams because they buried their gifts and spent their life trying hard to simply ‘be liked?’ This breaks my heart.
I talk to older women who are ready for retirement but they see retirement as an end to their identity and not a new beginning of possibilities. They were too busy raising a family to think very much about passion and desires.
I talk to spiritual people who tell me that desire is ego-based and that desire leads to attachment and that leads to suffering. And who wants to suffer, right? So they are practicing on how not to desire and all of my talk about goals, dreams, and desires really annoys them.
I agree that attachment to a particular outcome could lead to disappointment. And even if we attain the particular outcome, we’re not satisfied for very long – we want to experience the next level of joy, satisfaction, and success.
So desire gets a bad rap.
But to paraphrase Rumi, we all have the indwelling desire to express our gifts and talents that we were created for. Yes, the world needs the special gift that only you have. And there’s a good chance you have a desire to express that gift. And yeah, you have other desires, too.
But I have a secret. It’s about the energy of desire.
If you can move forward toward a heartfelt desire, or an inspired desire – this is a desire coming from deep within to express more of who you are, more of who you have come here to be – the attachment factor is missing.
Here’s the difference. If you think that the fulfillment of a desire will make you happy, then that’s going to create attachment. The subtle reasoning is that you aren’t already happy. You’ll be happy when you accomplish this desire or goal. This accomplishment is a wonderful checklist for the ego.
However, if you can connect with the desire energy that is an expression of your soul, of your inner genius, of your inner brilliance, then you’ll see that you are already happy. You’re not chasing something to MAKE you happy, you are choosing to experience something that is the fulfillment of your very nature.
Then the particular outcome isn’t as important as the choice of experiencing the desire.
Less stress, less anxiety, and less force. And that means more fun, more joy, and more possibilities.
Confucius said: “The will to win, the desire to succeed, the urge to reach your full potential…these are the keys that will unlock the door to personal excellence.”
Janet is an effective 'Belief Change Expert' who helps worn-out women who are tired of saying ‘yes’ to everyone else but themselves and feel like they are settling move from living life in neutral to living a bold, brilliant, and badass life.
If you are ready to step out of fear and self-doubt (and self-sabotage) so you can reclaim your power and mojo and be the inspiring, elegant, courageous, and passionate heroine you were born to be, Janet can help you get the results you are longing for.
Janet Kingsley is an effective 'Belief Change Expert' who helps clients transform frustration to focus, confusion to clarity, and self-doubt to self-confidence.