"The key to realizing a dream is to focus not on success but significance - and then even the small steps and little victories along your path will take on greater meaning." ~ Oprah Winfrey
Is there such a thing as ‘dream shaming?’
Throughout my life, I’ve been around big dreamers. I’d listen to their lofty plans, goals, and dreams and wonder why my own dreams didn’t match up with their big vision. And then this would lead me to ask myself, “What’s the matter with me?” (because that seems to be my standard go-to question).
And rarely did the big dreamer ever ask me about my dreams. Or even help me brainstorm something bigger and better for myself. In fact, I got the definite impression that these big dreamers were shaming me (silently, of course) for my lack of big dream focus.
It took me years to come to terms with accepting my own focus, my own sensibilities, and my own dreams without the self-criticism that would ordinarily accompany what I determined were my ‘small’ dreams.
My ‘small’ dreams revolved around being of service; around helping people to feel inspired and empowered; to assist them in finding comfort and peace when they were discouraged, fearful, or questioning; to guide them to uncover their own strength, courage, and brilliance; to support them during times of crisis; to educate them on the correct use of their mind and aligning with universal spiritual principles (just to name a few).
Would I like to speak in front of thousands? Of course! Would I love to facilitate sold-out workshops and seminars? You bet! Would I love to write a book that sells 1 million copies? That’d be awesome!
But even more important to me is connection and community. As Oprah says in the quote above, I’m interested in significance. And I want that one-to-one feedback that lets me know that I’m making a difference.
Standing ovations are great, but a personal testimonial is even better!
Last week I was at the Celebration of Fine Arts Festival in Scottsdale.
I was overcome by the magnitude of talent and grateful that these artists are a living example of living their dreams. And I wondered about small dreams and big dreams
I know one of the jewelers. She once told me that she credits me with helping inspire her to take a chance and sign up for her very first ‘Arts & Crafts’ Festival in Cave Creek and it was after that when she realized she could make a living selling her jewelry. That’s pretty significant for both of us.
And we talked last week about small dreams and big dreams. Some people close to her advise her to dream bigger. They suggest she open some of her own galleries across the country or hire a sales team so her items could be in even more galleries. They question her ‘small’ dreams.
She makes every piece by hand and she loves it. She enjoys getting to know the men and women who buy her jewelry. She loves working with people and bringing some of their personal designs to life. In fact, she’s making a one-of-a-kind (of course all of her pieces are one-of-a-kind) ring for me that is a new design for her. I’m ecstatic. And she gets to see that I’m ecstatic. She’d miss that if her non jewelry-making hours were spent running a gallery or managing employees.
Have you been a dream shamer? Or maybe a dream shamee?
And what if our small dreams lead us to bigger dreams? And even if they didn’t, whatever our dreams and desires are, they are perfectly suited to us.
Dream small dreams. If you make them too big, you get overwhelmed and you don't do anything. If you make small goals and accomplish them, it gives you the confidence to go on to higher goals.
Janet is an effective 'Belief Change Expert' who guides overwhelmed, over-committed, and busy women to rediscover their joy and purpose so they are excited and energized about their future and move from feeling like a failure to feeling unstoppable.
If you are ready to step out of fear and self-doubt so you can reclaim your authenticity and power and create the inspiring, elegant, courageous, passionate, bold, and badass life you were born to live, Janet can help you get the results you are longing for.
Believing in you and your possibilities
Janet Kingsley is an effective 'Belief Change Expert' who helps clients transform frustration to focus, confusion to clarity, and self-doubt to self-confidence.