’m writing this blog on Mother’s Day. I had a wonderful homemade brunch my daughter prepared, and was thinking about my own mom. I’m like her in many ways and unlike her in many other ways (aren’t we all like that?).
I remember one particular conversation we had where she shared with me that she wished someone (one of her husbands) would have put her first and really made her feel special and important. I think she abandoned part of herself in order to be loved. Imagine how sad that made me feel.
But she’s not the only one I’ve heard that from.
So many of us are waiting for others to notice our brilliance…to notice our genius. We think it’s arrogant to think of ourselves as special, but if someone else can notice our specialness, our uniqueness, that’s not as bad.
Why do we need permission to shine a light on ourselves and our own gifts and contributions?
Do we sulk and pout if no one is recognizing how special we are? Do we try even harder to earn love? Do we go the extra mile? Do we end up feeling like a doormat, over-giving and being under-appreciated?
It’s time to break out of this trance. It’s time to peel off some of your layers of protection and insecurity and people-pleasing tendencies and love what is special about you. It’s time to be you and color outside the lines!
It’s time to break out of this trance.
It’s time to peel off some of your layers of protection and insecurity and people-pleasing tendencies and love what is special about you. It’s time to be you and color outside the lines!
If doing the ‘right’ thing hasn’t been working and you are still discontent, maybe it’s time to let go of who you’re afraid you are to see the beauty of who you really are.
Here are some ways we’ve been in a trance:
We’re not too….anything. Okay, maybe we’re too nice. But we’re secretly afraid that being too nice isn’t really who we are, it’s something we’ve learned how to be.
Let’s get over that BS now, shall we?
Janet love, Janet support, and Janet encouragement is loving you enough to not let you stay in the trance of abandoning yourself and wanting you to be able to see and accept your authentic self.
Let’s face it, life is messy and doesn’t fit in a perfect box with perfect outcomes with a white picket fence around it. I’m imagining the ads in the magazines in the 1950s. Beautifully coiffed women, perfect makeup, perfect meals, always smiling, always serving others. Somehow, this oppressive and confining ‘good box’ has continued to make its way into the consciousness of today’s women. I know I bought into it - - hook, line, and sinker. And when I wasn’t any good at it, not only did I try harder, I felt like a complete and utter failure. Needless to say, no one was telling me I was special or important.
It’s time to follow our nudges. The calling of our soul isn’t logical or linear. And it might piss people off. But there is NO ONE on the planet more special or important than you!
Are you willing (and ready) to break free from the trance and begin to color outside the lines?
Are you willing (and ready) to listen to your calling and trust that things will work out?
Are you willing (and ready) to ask for what you want without apologizing that you even want something?
Are you willing (and ready) to challenge the status quo and live life on your terms, even if it doesn’t look perfect?
I hope you answered yes to at least one of those questions.
I know it can be scary to start – or even know where to start. Or how to start. I get it. Seeing yourself in a new way takes practice and you might need some help, guidance, or encouragement (or special Janet-love). If you’re ready to shift to what’s possible and re-discover yourself or your dreams, I can help.
Janet Kingsley is an effective 'Belief Change Expert' who helps clients transform frustration to focus, confusion to clarity, and self-doubt to self-confidence.