“Examine how your fears and the ensuing protection behaviors impact your life. What fears are stunting your growth? Where did these fears come from? Are they necessary [in your life today]? Are they real [today]? Are they contributing to a full life? If we can control our fears, we can regain control over our lives”
It’s funny what we remember. I can clearly remember about 4 years ago when I was having some blood work done. The lab tech excused herself to help with a patient in the next room. It was an 8 year-old boy who was getting his blood drawn. He was crying...a lot. His mother and his little sister were also in the room with him. I could hear the lab tech saying, "don't move so much or it will hurt more." She said this over and over again. Obviously, it wasn't working.
And then it happened. Shrieking!
Loud, fearful screaming. I knew it was at that point when the little boy saw the needle. Why didn't anyone tell him to close his eyes? At this point, I was getting tense and nervous. I was actually allowing this boy's fear to have an effect on me (and I don't mind getting blood drawn.)
And then it was quiet. The very thing he was trying to get away from, the thing he was hoping his screams would prevent was now at hand - and it wasn't so bad. I wondered if he asked himself why he made such a big deal over it, but he was probably just glad he was alive.
How many times are we like that little boy? We worry and fret; we think this will be the worst day of our lives; we create dragons and monsters in our minds.
No one tells us to close our eyes or think of something else. And after all of our fear and worry, we realize it wasn't so bad after all. Even if we don't always realize it, we are always free to choose thoughts of joy, happiness, security, and love and we don't have to keep revisiting the dungeon of fear.
Janet Kingsley is an effective 'Belief Change Expert' who helps clients transform frustration to focus, confusion to clarity, and self-doubt to self-confidence.