 Are we hardwired for negativity? Dr. Joe Dispenza writes in Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself, “Most of us live in the past and resist living in a new future. Why? The body is so habituated to memorizing the chemical records of our past experiences that it grows attached to these emotions. In a very real sense, we become addicted to those familiar feelings. So when we want to look to the future and dream of new vistas and bold landscapes in our not-too-distant reality, the body, whose currency is feelings, resists the sudden change in direction.” And what are those familiar feelings? Guilt, resentment, self-doubt, stress, obligations, settling, failure, being misunderstood, avoiding risk, playing it safe, duty, missed opportunities – and the list goes on and on. We long to experience joy and passion and purpose and we head in the direction that we think will take us there. And perhaps the first obstacle we encounter brings us right back to the idea and the memory of who we think we are. Think about it for a minute.
Let’s ‘blame’ evolution. In the world of our ancient ancestors, it was critical to their survival to react more strongly to negative experiences than to positive ones. Modern science tells us that negative stimuli triggers more neural activity in our brains. Not only that, but ‘bad news’ is detected more quickly and easily! So, maybe we are hardwired for negativity. Or maybe not. Maybe it’s just easier and we’re a bit lazy. Maybe we have so much practice on noticing and feeling the negative that we haven’t developed our ‘positivity’ muscles. We are brilliant at playing the 'negativity' game.  We are masters at collecting evidence that points out our flaws:
We are masters at avoiding our genius:
If you need some assistance and guidance in neutralizing this negativity bias, let’s talk. CALL TO ACTION: In the next 24 – 48 hours
Like anything of value, it takes commitment, practice, and consistency to transform mediocrity into greatness. And you can do it. Let me know how these ideas work out for you. Would you like to get crystal clear on what you want to embrace in your life and describe the kind of lifestyle you want to create? Would you like support in uncovering how you can use your special gifts and talents to make a difference? Would you like to uncover hidden challenges that may be sabotaging you? Let’s have a Free Breakthrough Session and we'll finish the call with you feeling renewed, re-energized, and inspired to start your Best Life EVER! About Janet
Janet Kingsley helps people believe in their own potential and transform their dreams into fulfilling, inspired, and prosperous realities. Business Owners: Make a bigger impact by reconnecting with your vision and passion and double, triple, or 10X your business without selling your soul or losing your mind.
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 Are you aware of your thoughts? Did you think those same thoughts yesterday? Are you purposely creating new thoughts in your mind? Are these new thoughts making you feel hopeful, excited, vibrant, and alive? Our habitual negative thoughts produce discomfort, unease, overwhelm, and lower our energy. Let's choose a higher pattern. Very often when I make my bed in the morning, I tell my bed how awesome and comfortable it was. I compliment the gorgeous quilt. Then I go over to some of my knick knacks on the dressers and let them know how much they are loved and appreciated. I look at the Susan Rios prints and lithographs I have hanging up as well as the framed cross-stitch picture hanging up and appreciate the talent and creativity that went into these beauties that grace my wall. I continue this process in the other rooms of my house and feel so blessed to be surrounded by things I love. And not in a way that the 'stuff' owns me, but that part of their essence in bringing beauty to my life is the way they 'love' me. It feels awesome. Yes, I can also feel like a crazy person, talking to the walls and to photos, and other items. But in those moments, I am fully present and in the flow. In those moments I am welcoming everything in and resisting nothing. It's a great habit to create - and yet not quite a habit for me yet. But what a destiny I might create for myself if I were to be in that mindset more often. We can choose our thoughts and choose our gratitude. Our thoughts, whether high vibration or low vibration, create the life we are attracting that will become tomorrow's reality. Like attracts like. We attract the same energetic vibration like that which we surround our self. Is there something you'd like to create, change, or increase? Perhaps your business or your prosperity and abundance? Are you watching and choosing your thoughts? Maybe I can help. Click to schedule a Breakthrough Session.
About Janet
Janet is an effective 'Belief Change Expert' who helps clients go from Overwhelm to Overjoyed, from Confusion to Clarity, and from Surviving to Thriving. Whether you want to grow your business or grow your self-esteem, Janet helps people believe in their own potential and transform their dreams into fulfilling, inspired, and prosperous realities. Janet can help you get the rapid results you are looking for.  I thought I was needy because I so desperately wanted to fit in…. And I didn’t realize that ‘fitting in’ wasn’t the same thing as belonging. The trouble with trying to ‘fit in’ is that we lose our own identity when we mold, create, and shape-shift into what we think others want. Just to fit in. Just to belong. For all of you that respected your own value and didn’t bend over backwards to fit in (even if you were a gymnast), I honor you. I wanted to be like you. I thought I had to bend over backwards (and I’m not a gymnast) to fit in with you. To show you I was independent. To mock others who didn’t know their place in this world. And then to not get my feelings hurt when you found out the truth about me and shunned me for being a pretender. Brene Brown writes, “Fitting in, I've discovered during the past decade of research, is assessing situations and groups of people, then twisting yourself into a human pretzel in order to get them to let you hang out with them. Belonging is something else entirely—it's showing up and letting yourself be seen and known as you really are—love of gourd painting, intense fear of public speaking and all.” Yes, I was that human pretzel. And in the process, my own dreams, aspirations, talents, hopes, and dreams got put away in some long-forgotten memento holder that was donated to charity.  And the question persists….where do I fit in? But what if that’s not the right question?
A slightly better question would be, ‘where do I belong?’ And an even better question would be ‘how do I acknowledge and appreciate my own unique gifts and then find situations, settings, or people where those gifts can flourish?’ We can embrace our true selves, be willing to show our uniqueness, and acknowledge that we have something special that will impact and enhance others. There’s a lot of talk about ‘tribes’ today and finding your tribe. That’s true if you’re a coach or a leader trying to find your tribe and it’s true as a member or follower who is looking for a tribe. We need real connection that doesn’t come from social media. The need to belong is common to us all. Notice the word ‘belong’ is not the same as ‘fit in.’ Even Abraham Maslow way back in 1943 knew that one of our basic human needs is to belong. It comes after our basic physiological needs (food, water, sleep) and our basic safety needs (security, employment). So, I’m not being needy, I’m being human! And on the other side of the desire to belong is the idea that we have to do everything ourselves – you know, the “Lone Wolf” syndrome. While I was being that human pretzel, others took the opposite path and became rebellious and fiercely independent. It’s ‘me against the world’ and ‘I’m doing it my way.’ Both sides simply hungry to have people accept us for who we are, with our foibles, inconsistencies, traits, quirks, and all the rest. Neither side knowing how to ask for what we need. And now as adults, many of us still don’t know how to ask for what you need. If you are struggling with asking for help, it’s time to stop struggling with our old stories and open up to your humanity. Call me. I’m here to help. ==> Click Here to schedule a free BREAKTHROUGH Session and see where you might be sabotaging yourself and trying to do things the hard way. CALL TO ACTION: In the next 24 – 48 hours
Would you like to get crystal clear on what you want to embrace in your life and describe the kind of lifestyle you want to create? Would you like support in uncovering how you can use your special gifts and talents to make a difference? Would you like to uncover hidden challenges that may be sabotaging you? Let’s have a Breakthrough session and we'll finish the call with you feeling renewed, re-energized, and inspired to start your Best Life EVER! ..............Schedule a complimentary Breakthrough Session I'm excited to hear the dream in your heart! Let's talk! Until next time Have some fun, stay aware, and rock on! Janet Kingsley Visit my Facebook Page: facebook.com/Possibility.Doctor/ Believing in you and your possibilities P.S. Are you ready to explore the productive person you were designed to be? Schedule a free BREATKTHROUGH Session! [Value $197] Click Here Procrastination or Productivity? In your world, which one is likely to come in first place? For so many of us, procrastination wins nearly every time. Sure, there are times we can push through with effort and determination – and we even get that warm-fuzzy feeling of satisfaction. But we’re exhausted. We’ve used up our energy reserves. We want things to be easy. Actually, we want things to be “easy and effortless.” And yet, if things come too easily or too effortlessly, we don’t appreciate it. We discount our success or achievement. We think something’s wrong. In last week’s article I gave a super-easy, super-effortless tip to simply change your language from “I need to” or “I have to” or even “I choose to” to “I get” to.” Super-easy right? I’ve already received some reports about some people having good success with that simple change. (and for extra credit, you could upgrade to “I want to.”) But let’s face it, productivity is more than just changing our language. And it’s more than just making a list of things to do and checking those boxes (who else LOVES to make check boxes?). We need to make sure we are checking the right boxes!  Whenever we want to tackle something new, whether it’s a new recipe, updating our resume, starting a new career or hobby, or even a new exercise regime, we have a tendency to spend way too much time in research. We want everything to be perfect BEFORE we get started. We want to know the answers, we want to know how other people did things, we spend money on programs and tools and workshops. We succumb to information overload. I can’t tell you how many different coaching programs I’ve signed up for. One covered marketing, another covered opt-in pages and websites. Or how about the programs for list-building? Or successful sales techniques? Oh yeah. There is a never-ending stream of offers that get delivered directly to me (yes, directly to me – they even have MY NAME in the email offer). How can I resist? This is the last piece of the puzzle that I'm missing! All those ‘shiny objects of temptation’ make it so easy to think I’m being productive. But I’m just procrastinating. So, I’ve opted out of most of my subscriptions and feel so much lighter and freer. Of course, this doesn’t mean I want everyone to opt out of MY list – but if what I am delivering to you helps keep you stuck, then it isn’t useful, it is simply a distraction.  Speaking of distractions….
What if multi-tasking was really a distraction? What if it was simply a way for us to fool ourselves into thinking we are doing more than we actually are? Neuroscience research tells us that multi-tasking is not really doing two things simultaneously, but just switching between them very rapidly and that the brain is very good at deluding itself. It is actually MORE PRODUCTIVE to focus on one thing at a time. Even if it is just 10-15 minutes of uninterrupted focus, we can be way more productive than if we check Facebook or email every three minutes and get distracted. Or check our text messages. Those texts and Facebook notifications will still be waiting for us in 15 minutes. I wonder what you can get done in a focused 15 minutes. I’ll bet I could almost complete an article. Part of what I do in coaching is helping to Optimize Your Environment. That means removing distractions, like a messy desk or too many computer windows and programs open or even putting your phone in a different room. We can learn to fall in love with our dreams and visions MORE than that bright, shiny object. ==> Click Here to schedule a free BREAKTHROUGH Session and see where you might be getting distracted. CALL TO ACTION: For the next 24 – 48 hours
We can decide together if my program fits your dreams.................. ==> Click Here to schedule a complimentary Breakthrough Session I'm excited to see what's possible when we embrace productivity! Let's talk! Until next time Have some fun, stay aware, and rock on! Janet Kingsley www.janetkingsley.com Visit my Facebook Page: facebook.com/Possibility.Doctor/ Believing in you and your possibilities  Don’t you mean change your thinking, change your life? Last week I was talking about procrastination and mentioned that I was going to focus my next few articles on that topic. No, I’m not going to teach you HOW to procrastinate, so don’t worry. We have so many excuses as to why we don’t get started moving in the direction of our dreams or goals. I mentioned that in my unofficial survey, the #1 excuse I encountered was “I don’t have enough time.” Those five little words (which are not true, by the way) have killed hopes and dreams, have led people to frustration and despair, and have been the cause of so much settling and unhappiness. It’s time to put away that excuse once and for all (and for me, too!!). Once I started to play around with what was coming out of my mouth, I started taking action. I’m still as busy as ever. I still have competing priorities. I still like to sleep. I still like to eat. I still like to go out dancing on Friday nights. And I’m taking action anyway. And I have time to take action. Here are five other words to memorize and replace those (killer) words with:
Change your language, change your life. Last week, your action was to change your language from “I have to” or “I should” or “I need to” to “I choose to.” On Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday when I go to the gym and exercise with the ‘over 55’ crowd, I no longer say, “I have to go today” and I don’t even say, “I choose to go today.” Instead, I’ve upgraded my language to “I get to go today!” Can you feel the difference in the energy of the words, “I get to?” It puts a smile on my face. I get to send out emails. I get to prepare for Sunday talks. I get to attend chamber mixers. I get to organize my office. I get to pay some bills. I get to balance my checkbook. Woo Hoo! It’s like I’m having a party! And when I ‘get to’ do something, it doesn’t feel like a chore or an obligation. And, the most amazing thing of all is that I get going! What do you get to do? CALL TO ACTION: For the next 24 – 48 hours
We can decide together if my program fits your dreams.................. Click Here --> Schedule a complimentary Breakthrough Session I'm excited to hear the dream in your heart! Let's talk! Until next time Have some fun, stay aware, and rock on! |
About JanetJanet Kingsley is an effective 'Belief Change Expert' who helps clients transform frustration to focus, confusion to clarity, and self-doubt to self-confidence. 
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