That’s what I’ve been telling myself for the past few months. Also, ‘stop resisting and start allowing' and 'stop resisting and start opening.' I’m not sure I was resisting exactly, but entering into the unknown, embracing my innovative side, displaying my sensitivity, and opening up to my power is scary and I’m making my own path. And on this path, I can see my feet dragging. And while running into this unknown territory doesn’t feel good, neither does dragging my feet.
But I do it anyway (drag, that is)
My 5 for 5 coaching wrapped up last week and it hit me that it has been months since I’ve even put out a blog-letter (that’s a cross between a blog and a newsletter). During the past five months, I’ve had many ideas to pass on, especially when all of my clients were either saying or experiencing similar things. Yet, nothing and no ideas made it to paper (or to the internet). I was resisting.
It isn’t like I was just sitting around and twiddling my thumbs, of course.
I’ve been coaching my own clients, I’ve worked with my own coach and mentor and have lots of assignments from her. I helped my daughter move to Spokane Valley, I’ve written some poems, I went on two road trips, I continue to minister at Center for Positive Living Sedona, I taught a class in Spiritual Bypassing and am currently teaching a class based on the book, “Busting Loose From the Money Game.”
And yet, I knew I was still resisting. In a way, I was resisting life. It looks like I'm having a great time in the photo to the right on my recent driving tip in California, and I was very clear I was resisting allowing myself to feel honored, valued, and noticed.
Oh yes, I have a lot to say and I have also been resisting writing a blog-letter. Why? Do I think no one reads these blog-letters? Do I think I don’t have anything important to say? Do I think it has been too long since my last blog-letter and I’m a failure at getting this out consistently? Do I think I have to be brilliant and witty? How hard would it have been to simply begin? Just sit at my computer and write something (anything) for five minutes?
Inertia. Had. Set. In.
Has this ever happened to you? You know you need to do something – anything to move you forward. In my coaching, I’ll often ask, “What can you commit to doing in the next 24 – 48 hours?” Sometimes, we can commit to taking out the recipe and putting on the refrigerator. Or we can commit to making one telephone call. Or we can commit to picking out a paint color.
So often we focus on the end result of our goals and it is overwhelming. We don’t have enough time or enough information (or even enough motivation) to complete the entire ‘thing’ – and we fail to ask ourselves, "What is the very next [small] step?" Forget the end result for now. Just get moving.
Here are two ideas we can we take when we are in a funk and are resisting moving forward.
1. As I mentioned earlier, ask yourself, “what small step can I take in the next 24 – 48 hours?” It could be as simple as sending out an email, doing some research, visualizing, buying a domain name, or spending time in gratitude. And then, of course, make sure to give yourself credit and acknowledge yourself for taking this small step.
Everything begins with the first small step. If we allow our negative and fearful mind chatter run the show, we will continue to resist moving forward. What can you do to make this first small step fun? Do it. The perfect time to begin is not when you have more education, more time, or more information. The perfect time is now. Take it slow, but take that next baby step.
2. Ask for what you want. I don’t know about you, but I am not good at asking for what I want; I expect people to be mind readers and should know what I want (and need). Sometimes we don’t ask because we’re afraid of the answer. Other times we don’t ask because we don’t want to appear selfish or needy. Or maybe we just don’t think we are worthy to receive.
What if asking was really about giving yourself permission to make progress? It doesn’t have to be pushy but it is a way to honor yourself and your desires. For the entire 5 months of my 5 for 5 coaching, I neglected to ask for a testimonial. And one of the reasons I even offered this 5 for 5 coaching was to get the testimonials. So, I had to remember to ask. I received one and am knowing the rest will follow. What could you ask for? Well, you could ask for….
You know those ideas I've had over the past five months that I wanted to pass one? None of them showed up in this blog-letter! But taking small steps and winning this battle with resistance seemed important to me today.
I’m glad I finally sat down and began. You’ll be glad too.
Stay tuned, and until next time
Have some fun, stay aware, and rock on!
Janet Kingsley is an effective 'Belief Change Expert' who helps clients transform frustration to focus, confusion to clarity, and self-doubt to self-confidence.