It is better to take many small steps in the right direction than to make a great leap forward only to stumble backwards.
Last week I wrote about a common challenge it seems that most of us have when we want to move forward in the direction of our dreams. I’m paraphrasing by saying we tend to ‘bite off more than we can chew’ and then we end up having to spit out what we bit off!
In other words, we may try to do everything at once. We see the big picture and we get excited and we go-go-go but eventually, our motivation wanes and we go back to our old habits.
My suggestion: start small. Baby step. Repeat this one baby step over and over until it becomes a new habit, and then add the next one. You can read the entire post how-to-manifest-your-desires-part-1.htmlhere.
So, even if we know the steps to manifesting our desires - visualizing, having at attitude of gratitude, meditating, journaling, increasing our vibration, being specific and clear, eliminating our mental blocks, etc. - we’re not always consistent in taking these steps, are we?
We get lazy, we judge by appearances, we let other people’s ideas and opinions affect what we do, we let our negative mind chatter take a front seat. And maybe we give up only to start again.
Our dreams and desires will not be silenced. Not permanently anyway. We can squash them for a bit, but deep down, we know they are there.
So, we know the ‘how’ of manifesting our desires. Our trouble is in the doing. Basically, I think it comes down to creating new habits that will build our manifesting muscles.
The success we get in taking consistent baby steps helps feed our need for rewards. I know we don’t like to think we’re as simple as Pavlov’s dogs, but we probably are. Sorry.
I think it is critical to focus on only one habit at a time.
This can be hard. Not only are we impatient, but our baby step seems so easy. And quick. And simple. And if we can do one baby step for one habit we want to develop, why not do one baby step for a couple of habits? Seems logical, right? Wrong!
When we try to change too many habits all at once, it’s sort of like multi-tasking. We don’t focus on any one thing and our results actually suffer. Maybe you try and take small steps for four different habits (learn yoga, meditate, listen to a daily inspirational video or talk, and exercise). Sure, at first you are filled with enthusiasm, but as time goes on, you are using willpower only. Something’s gotta give. Maybe one, two, or even all four new habits suffer.
Trust me on this. One habit at a time.
I’d start with the one that you think will give you the biggest bang. If you think that entering into gratitude more often will help raise your vibration, then start with 5 minutes a day. If you can do more, great. Maybe it is just 3 minutes a day. Are you going to write them out? Say them out loud? Just think thoughts about appreciation? Maybe you want to start or end your day with statements of gratitude.
Or maybe you think visualizing is your biggest bang. Abraham-Hicks suggests that thought reaches a combustion point at 17 seconds and if you can visualize (pure thought without any contradictory thinking) then you are on the way to manifesting. Maybe try for 10 seconds and work up to 68 seconds.
And – super important - make it easy on yourself by having everything you need at hand.
If you are going to journal, have it by the side of your bed. If you are going to do yoga, lay out your yoga outfit the night before. If you are going to learn to play piano, make sure it is in a convenient place. If you are going to meditate, make sure your meditation CD is already loaded up. You get the picture.
Richelle E. Goodrich reminds us: "Small steps may appear unimpressive, but don't be deceived. They are the means by which perspectives are subtly altered, mountains are gradually scaled, and lives are drastically changed."
Changed into your bold, brilliant, badass life!
Janet is an effective 'Belief Change Expert' who helps worn-out women who are tired of saying ‘yes’ to everyone else but themselves and feel like they are settling move from living life in neutral to living a bold, brilliant, and badass life.
If you are ready to step out of fear and self-doubt (and self-sabotage) so you can reclaim your power and mojo and be the inspiring, elegant, courageous, and passionate heroine you were born to be, Janet can help you get the results you are longing for.
Believing in you and your possibilities
“Everything you want is just outside your comfort zone.”
Is that true? Everything?
I have some of the things I want right now and they are firmly within my comfort zone. And I think it’s important not to downplay those things in order to go after those things that ARE outside of my comfort zone. (I could probably write an entire blog post on that alone, but that is for another time)
However, if you Google the title of this post you’ll find close to 1.3 million entries. Huffington Post will tell you 15 ways to manifest your desires. And you can find 15 steps with pictures on wikihow. You can find the 5 principles and the 3 secrets to manifest your desires and make your dreams a reality. And the list goes on and on.
Of course there are no secrets, are there? I’ll bet if I were to ask you how to manifest your dreams, you could tell me. And I’ll bet your list would include some or all of the following, wouldn’t it?
"Everyone has been made for some particular work, and the desire for that work has been put in every heart." ~Rumi
I talk a lot about desires (and dreams and goals).
And here’s why. So many of us have put our desires on the back burner. That was most definitely true for me when I was busy working for a living, settling for a job that helped pay the bills, build for my retirement (or so I thought), and offered medical and dental insurance. But was so very unfulfilling in every way.
I was starving my desires until one day they simply withered away. Now, years later, after careful tending, watering, and weeding, they are growing again…and thriving. And I still need a lot more practice in nurturing and embracing my desires.
And I’m not the only one.
I talk to young women who tell me that they’d rather be liked than be happy. And so they silence their voice and squash their desires. I wonder what their life will be like in 20 years. Will they have completely forgotten their passion and dreams because they buried their gifts and spent their life trying hard to simply ‘be liked?’ This breaks my heart.
I talk to older women who are ready for retirement but they see retirement as an end to their identity and not a new beginning of possibilities. They were too busy raising a family to think very much about passion and desires.
I talk to spiritual people who tell me that desire is ego-based and that desire leads to attachment and that leads to suffering. And who wants to suffer, right? So they are practicing on how not to desire and all of my talk about goals, dreams, and desires really annoys them.
I agree that attachment to a particular outcome could lead to disappointment. And even if we attain the particular outcome, we’re not satisfied for very long – we want to experience the next level of joy, satisfaction, and success.
So desire gets a bad rap.
Janet Kingsley is an effective 'Belief Change Expert' who helps clients transform frustration to focus, confusion to clarity, and self-doubt to self-confidence.