"I think we all strive to push ourselves, to overcome our struggles.
I may not make formal New Year’s resolutions, but that doesn’t mean I don’t find myself thinking about 2018 and what I want to accomplish, how I want to feel, what I want to do and experience, how I want to show up (for myself and others), and how I want to create more meaning and fulfillment in my life.
I find myself thinking [again] about what I want to stop doing. So, I took some time this past week to re-read some of my old journals that contained writing assignments from coaching programs I’ve taken over the past five or six years.
Imagine my horror when I see I am still dealing with many of the same issues!
I know you are eager to know what those issues are, right?
Comparison is the thief of joy” ~ Theodore Roosevelt
New year, new habits, right? Not only new habits, but new goals, new behaviors, new commitments, new disciplines, new techniques, new strategies (and a lot of other ‘new’ stuff, too).
Have you ever compared yourself to someone else and came up lacking? Have you looked at the strengths and talents of others and compared them to your weaknesses and ever felt good? Of course not.
It seems like the purpose of comparing ourselves to others is to keep us stuck, to dampen our enthusiasm, to help us quit before we reach the target.
And this comparison is our excuse and reason to quit. And as Teddy Roosevelt describes above, it robs of us joy. So, when we look at it that way, comparing ourselves to others is silly, isn’t it?
I’ve made a number of videos so far and I really enjoy making them. But when I compare them to the videos I get in my email from top-level million dollar coaches, mine seem amateurish and don’t measure up. Theirs look so professional. They don’t stutter over their words. They seem so confident and at ease.
But it’s not really a valid comparison is it? They may shoot in a studio. They may have a teleprompter, they may have staff that edits out the parts where they do stutter over their words. So it isn’t a fair comparison. Instead of getting depressed or jealous and thinking I should stop making videos, I need to a) stop comparing and b) notice and appreciate that I have a lot to offer.
Janet Kingsley is an effective 'Belief Change Expert' who helps clients transform frustration to focus, confusion to clarity, and self-doubt to self-confidence.