Has my life been a fraud? Am I still following someone else’s dream? What do I want to do with my power?
These are the questions I find myself asking this week after I had a hand analysis session with Denise Dee. She tells me my purpose and gift markings are Innovator, Creator, and Artist. And not just that, but Master of Innovation, a Master of Self-Approval, and Master of Creative. And she reminded me that Artist isn’t simply confined to my limited interpretation. I could be artistic in my speaking skills (and if I think about it, I used to do oil painting, I’ve done a lot of sewing, crafting, and needlework; I have a good eye for decorating, and have written a lot of poetry) – so what was I thinking when I have rejected the artist in me?
Of course, me being me, I had to argue a bit, right? When I look at what I love to do, it is always about being of service. From ministry to coaching to supporting people at work, my life is all about service. Denise wasn’t convinced. “Not according to your hands. You also have Approval, Attention, and Appreciation lines. And maybe the way you get approval, attention, and appreciation is from being of service, but that’s not your purpose,” she said.
I have always been drawn to Denise’s newsletters and blogs. She’s an innovator herself. She pushes my buttons (even in her newsletters) in a way I like.
For too long I've taken the words and ideas of others as true. What if it wasn't true but just an opinion?
What if it is okay to be angry and still be spiritual and good? What if it isn't always about the other person (you know, when someone is less than kind or projecting and we say “Don’t take it personally, it’s not about you, it’s about them?”) What if the subconscious is okay with the words ‘don’t and not and isn't and it’s not about the words but the energy and intent behind the words?
Some of my most powerful prayers and ways of manifesting have been with me screaming at the top of my lungs – and my screams were not those of joy – but of frustration. And they were powerful.
And then she had the audacity to tell me that I have a very strong Mercury Line in my hands. What does that mean? It is a two-way radio to the Divine. I am intuitive and clairvoyant. Who me? I don’t think so. And yet, she says she knows what she knows and all of my denials fall on deaf ears with her.
And so it seems the next phase of my journey begins with this hand analysis. She asked me some hard questions:
I've spent the last two or three years trying to ‘find’ my tribe, those people who I am born to serve and help. I've wanted to help people find and follow their dreams; I've wanted to help people stop settling and start soaring; I've wanted to help people create the life they love to live.
That’s not the whole picture. I want to go deeper, much deeper.
And I talk myself out of that, because, after all, who wants to go there? Not me. And yes, me. White knuckling it all the way.
In my last newsletter, I encouraged us to make friends with the feeling of discomfort. I don’t want to make friends with that feeling, but in my own innovative and creative way, I know being comfortable and playing it safe is not the way for me to show up, make a difference, or live in joy.
What about you?
Stay tuned, and until next time
Have some fun, stay aware, and rock on!
Janet Kingsley is an effective 'Belief Change Expert' who helps clients transform frustration to focus, confusion to clarity, and self-doubt to self-confidence.